The Prom


It’s not just for high school kids.  I belong to an AMLAW 200 law firm and we have a prom every year.  Ours is a little different in that I don’t have to hire a limo, nor buy my wife a corsage.  But, I think the corsage would be a nice touch.  It’s all part of Arent Fox’s annual retreat.

Each year, Arent Fox takes all of the attorneys, senior legal assistants and selected staff away for a weekend retreat.  Business meetings are held, golf is played and, of course, there’s the prom.  We have gone South to Wintergreen and North to Hershey Park, Baltimore, Wilmington and Philadelphia.  With offices in D.C. and New York, those of us from D.C. end up going North most of the time.  This year, we have an office in Los Angeles, so I thought the retreat should be in Ozarks.  I was overruled.  We went to Williamsburg.  Branson will have to wait.

Everyone is excited about the LA office.  We started small and in less than a year have doubled its size. They have outgrown their offices and, in December, they will be moving to a larger space where they will be able to continue to expand.  Moving a law office is a lot like having a root canal.  It solves a current problem and makes things better in the future, but the procedure can be painful and frustrating.  I think I will inquire about the move in February.  By waiting a couple of months, I can reduce the conversation to three minutes rather than 30!

At the business meeting, Marc Fleischaker, our Chairman of the Executive Committee, reported on the status of the firm.  I always come away with a warm fuzzy feeling.  He assured us that the report was 98% truthful and that’s good enough for me.  Throughout the entire morning, I keep count of how many times someone mentions the “culture of the firm.”  We are collegial and very proud of our culture.  When “culture of the firm” is mentioned for the tenth time, I make a star on my note paper.  I’m not sure why.  I guess it tells me that the hard core bean counters haven’t taken over.

Golf is always the afternoon after the business meeting and before the prom.  This means teeing off after 1:00 PM and getting to the cocktail reception by 6:30.  It can be done, but it’s tight.  This year the stars were in the wrong position.  The golf round was OK.  It could have been excellent if I hadn’t triple bogeyed the two par 3’s on the back nine.  I got back to the room at 5:45 and jumped into the shower.  All was going well until I tried to tie my bow tie.

A number of years back, I decided it would be neat to tie my own.  Each time, I have to get out my written instructions and go step by step.  This time, I forgot to switch from my golf glasses to my regular glasses (regular glasses are bifocals).  So, I am looking at the step-by-step pictures, but I can’t read the instructions.  The tie keeps falling apart.  I don’t blame it.  At 6:30, Carole, my wife, is asking how I am doing.  I finally trek out to the car and rescue my regular glasses from the golf bag.  Then, after reading the instructions, I tie the bow.  It’s a terrible job.  Do you think I care?  At that moment, the only criterion was that it didn’t fall apart.  I never dared to touch it the rest of the night.

The prom is a formal affair.  I have on previous occasions worn my dress mess uniform (still requires a bow tie).  But, at Williamsburg, I decided to wear my tuxedo.  Surprisingly, I had a number of people ask me why I was out of uniform.  Last year, when I wore my mess jacket, a couple of the same people came up and asked me to call them a cab.

One of the really neat things about Arent Fox, is that even though I retire at the end of the year, I will still be invited each year to the prom.  I am not sure whether I will wear the dress mess or the tux, but you can bet I will have a back-up clip-on in my bag.

2 thoughts on “The Prom”

  1. Marc’s a great guy and an incredible leader (See poem entitled “Fearless Leader”), but his bow tie looked like a clip-on. Dressing up in a tux and putting on a clip-on bow tie is like going out to a nice restaurant and having them pour the wine from a spigot out of a box!

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