In a surprising change of events, it appears that Brett Farve will play this Sunday against the New England Patriots. Earlier it had been announced that Brett had fractured his left ankle in the game against Green Bay. If Brett did not start, his 291-game starting streak would come to an end.
It was determined by the NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, that a halt to the streak would not be in the best interest of the National Football League. Consequently, Goodell is implementing the “walker” rule for Farve. This means that he will be able to have the assistance of a walker while he is on the field. Goodell stated, “Many elderly people use walkers and they are generally accepted in our society.” Goodell explained that Farve using a walker also has its disadvantages. First, Farve will not be able to take snaps under the center. And, the center will have to snap the ball higher so that it travels over the walker.
Viking coach, Brad Childress, recognizes that a walker might get busted. “It’s a violent game.” So he has a number of backup walkers ready to go just in case. Goodell added that it will be a penalty for any defensive player to specifically target the walker. That will constitute an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty and cost the defense 15 yards and an automatic first down.
Farve says he is good with the new rules. It has been rumored that he has already emailed a picture of his walker to Jenn Sterger. Farve said that he had texted her, but that he had not sent a picture. Sterger has an attorney and will not comment.
Farve thanked Commissioner Goodell for the new rule. Farve said it was important that he keep playing because an idle mind is the Devil’s workshop.
Monthly Archives: October 2010
Golf Digest’s Mystification and Bewilderment
In this October’s issue of Golf Digest, they have 30 pages addressing “Why you can’t putt.” It was hyped as “the ultimate guide to make you great on the greens.” I knew it was nonsense, but it got my attention.
I don’t know about golf magazines. Sure, I subscribe, but do they help my game? I don’t think it helps me to learn what clubs some pro has in his bag. I am certain that if all his clubs are TaylorMade, then they are paying him to play with their clubs. I don’t object to the system. In fact, I would play with Walmart clubs if they would pay me.
The 30 pages on putting turned out to be a series of articles. One was an extensive study of the brain. It included colored pictures of the brains of players putting. Players with their brains colored red were not doing as well as players with brains colored blue. Red indicated the player was thinking of missing the putt or concentrating too much on mechanics. Blue indicated focus on the target or “feel.” I’ve decided my new mantra on the putting green will be, “think blue, think blue.”
One helpful hint was, if you are standing on your tip toes, your putter may be too long. Another is, if you are leaving your putts short, you may not be hitting them on the center of the club, which is referred to as the “sweet spot” (or you may not be hitting the ball hard enough). Their answer is to get a larger putter that has a weighted outside frame. My answer is to hit the ball on the sweet spot. I can see the need for more forgiving irons when taking a full swing, but for putting? You seldom take the putter back 12 inches.
I’m not too swift, so some of this stuff just went over my head. On reading greens (something I would like to do better), I’m supposed to find the “zero line.” I think that is something like the green’s Continental Divide. On one side of the line, everything flows to the Atlantic, and on the other side, the Pacific. I figured out that if you are on the Pacific side, the ball will break to the left. Atlantic side – right. I wish I had known this sooner. I think this new found knowledge, coupled with a blue brain, may take some of the challenge out of the game.
There’s an article by Mike Shannon, entitled “How to roll every putt on line.” No, it’s not the Mike Shannon I knew at Mizzou back in 1958. He went on to play third base for the St. Louis Cardinals and now broadcasts their games. The golf-instructing Mike says that 35% of golfers see a straight line when they putt and 65% see a curved line. I guess my problem is that I don’t know which group I am in. I think I will go with the curved lines. That way I have a 65% chance of being right. OK, are you ready for my system? I look at the hole and decide if I putt the ball directly at the hole how many inches will I miss on the low side. Then, I putt that number of inches above the hole. If I miss, I blame it on the speed of the green.
One of the really helpful bits of information was that if you really want to be a great putter, you need to start before you are ten years old. And, you need to seriously putt for at least two hours every day. There goes the piano lessons. So what comes next? What do I have to do to be a better than average putter?
There was an article that stated that men were better putters than women. They threw in a lot of statistics so they wouldn’t sound sexist. It didn’t work. But they do have the valid point that men seem to have more competition and are playing for more money. Then along comes Dr. Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist. He states, and I quote, “Throughout evolutionary history, women have been attracted to winners of competitions. A man believes that if he wins, he’s going to get laid.” So this is the reason men play better than women? Doctor K., how you think and talk. I am wondering why there is a need for an evolutionary psychologist at the London School of Economics. I’ll bet Dr K. really felt smug when Tiger was exposed. “See, see!”
The bottom line is that the articles have made me a better putter. Not because of anything written, but because I became curious about the other Mike Shannon. It turns out Mike is quite a putting instructor and has a number of putting videos on golfersmd.com. His instruction is great and the price is right. The irony is that if his name had been anything other than Mike Shannon, I wouldn’t have looked him up. I certainly didn’t look up weird Doctor Kanazawa.
A Quirky Pen Buying Habit
If you live to be seventy and you don’t have any quirks, you might want to check your pulse. You may be dead. I’m sitting here in my green visor thinking about another quirk I have. I like to buy pens. No, not expensive pens. If you are going to be quirky, make sure your quirks are reasonably inexpensive.
Consequently, I have lots of pens. I have boxes of pens. Many that I have purchased worked well at the store, but not so good at home. After about a week, they end up in a box. You can’t throw away a one-week old pen. After about a year, I go through the box and pitch them.
My quest is to find the perfect writing instrument. I went through fountain pens, ball points, porous points and finally locked on to roller balls. At this moment, I am wild about gel roller balls. The Cross pen with a gel roller ball refill is superb. But, the pen costs $30 to $50 and has the ability to hide itself.
I used to have one Cross pen with a fine porous point tip. But it was always disappearing. Many times it would be hiding in the couch. Searching the car for a lost pen is great sport. Even if you don’t find the pen, you may find coins, combs or a fingernail file. It’s better than a scavenger hunt. And, many times I would find a number of pens. “Welcome back. You go in the box.”
I probably buy two to three pens a month. Always on the quest. Presently, I’m partial to Sanford Uniball pens. And, Sanford seems to know it. Each time I go into an Office Depot, Staples or PX, Sanford has something new for me (or, they have repackaged something old). “Hi, I’m Jack and I’m a compulsive pen buyer.” “Hi Jack.”
Some pens write better on certain paper than others. Sometimes a fine point is best. But, most of the time bold is better. The disadvantage with bold is when you put it in your pants pocket uncapped. This happens to me frequently. This has led to another quest – seeking the perfect stain remover. My wife encourages me to wear dark trousers. Retractable pens are not the answer. You don’t have to cap them, but you do have to retract them.
What happens when you buy a pen you really thought your were going to like, but you don’t? And, it came in a package of eight. Now you have seven new pens you can’t even put in a box. I try to give them away or leave them in places where other people will find them. One lady stopped me to advise that I had forgotten my pen. I thanked her, but I wanted to tell her to mind her own business.
I spend a disproportionate amount of time just wondering where certain pens are. I have particular places on each level of the house where I place them, but they find other places to hide. When I was working in DC, I could go through all of my suits (pants pockets, coat pockets) searching. That was exciting. But now that I am retired, I seldom where a suit. My most recent purchase (with very high hopes) has vanished. I’ll be back, I’m going to look in the car. Well, I’m back. I didn’t find that pen, but I found another. Unfortunately, it’s one of the eight I have been trying to get rid of.
You may think I am wasteful buying pens I don’t use. But I feel like I am helping the economy. And, it gets me out of the house.