I’m not a big New Year’s Resolution guy. This year, I didn’t give it any thought at all. A couple down the street threw a New Year’s Day reception. I told some neighbors present that I hadn’t done anything about New Year’s resolutions. A woman said, “It’s not too late. You can make New Year’s resolutions anytime.”
This really got me thinking. I always thought you had to make them before the year started. I realized that I didn’t know the rules for New Year’s resolutions. I needed to find the rules and study them. Maybe it wasn’t too late. In fact, the longer you wait in the year, the better your chances are at being successful.
So I Googled “New Year’s Resolution Rules.” Of course Google has something on everything. I found one article entitled the Seven Rules of New Year’s Resolutions. Rule one and two were exactly the same. “Do not talk about New Year’s resolutions.” I think the idea was, if you don’t talk about it, you won’t have a “falsely inflated self image” (whatever that means). Sounds pretty hokey. I doubt if many people spend time bragging about New Year’s resolutions. But, again, I’m not a NYR guy. Then, rules number 5 & 6 were “commit your New Year’s resolution to a friend” and “have the friend hold you accountable.” I am struggling with not talking about it but telling a friend. Wouldn’t telling a friend falsely inflate something or other? I was grateful to learn that none of the rules demand penalties. That’s because I think breaking New Year’s resolutions is right up there with death and taxes.
WinSoft is holding a contest for people to submit (on their software) the most funny or crazy resolution. What’s exciting about this is that the contest deadline is on January 16, 2012 at Midnight in Paris, France. This is exceedingly important because it proves that New Year’s resolutions don’t have to be made before the start of the year.
So I think I still have time. I’m having trouble coming up with a resolution. I would like to discover a full proof remedy for stopping hiccups or building an invisible teleprompter, but I’m not qualified. I thought about saying, “I resolve to be a better person this year.” That sounds lofty. But better than what? Better than I was last year? Better than somebody else? That seems vain. There are some people that it would be impossible to be better than, like Superman. Faster that a speeding bullet, more powerful that a locomotive. Not bad for a mild mannered reporter. If I were better than President Obama, the media wouldn’t tell you. Fox News might. You know – fair and balanced.
Speaking of politics, I could resolve to get my man elected. If I do everything I can and my man loses, where does that leave my resolution? I think there should be a Federal advisory board to answer such questions. We could call it the New Year’s Resolution Resolution Board.
So where does that leave me? I clearly have until January 16th. I could pass or have a stealth resolution. Stealth resolutions are not subject to the Resolution Resolution Board. I think I will make a resolution to publish more blogs this year. It is obvious that I don’t put much emphasis on substance. Go Daddy, my web meister, keeps all kind of stats for me. So far I publish .76 blogs per week. That comes to three and a third per month. I should be able to do better. When you write the junk I write about, you don’t have to worry about writer’s block. I think I will resolve to publish a blog a week. I have a few subjects lined up and think I can rock right along until late January!
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com