Larry Ledbetter’s Seventy-Seventh Birthday

This blog is about a friend celebrating his 77th birthday and a poem that I wrote for the occasion.  But the weather has me so annoyed that I just have to vent.  If you don’t want to be the recipient of my venting, then just skip down to the poem.

I don’t think I mind cold weather.  It makes you feel alive.  But what has gotten to me is this day after day, week after week, MONTH AFTER MONTH!  The understatement of the day is, “It is getting old.”

And we have so many more efficient ways to check the weather.  It used to be the paper in the morning and the local TV news.  Then came along the Weather Channel.  Now, I have a smart phone strapped to my hip.  This should be more efficient – but not when you check the weather 20 times a day.  And, I have three weather apps on my IPhone.  One came on the phone and then I downloaded the Weather Channel and the local Fox Accu Weather. Hot Dog!  And then I spend time comparing them.  How dumb.

It’s such a convenient way for me to waste time.  Once I pull up the weather app, I can look at the current temperature; or the hourly temperature for the next 24 hours; or a 36 hour outlook; or the ten- day forecast.  That’s what has me so upset.  The ten-day forecast looks like ten days ago, which looks like…(You get the idea).

In 2010, I wrote a blog entitled, “My Crepe Myrtle Tree.”  It explained how I trim my Crepe Myrtle every February.  Well, February is almost gone and the ten-day forecast shows no sign of relief.  Rest assured, it will be done.

One of the things that made February a little more tolerable was Larry Ledbetter’s 77th birthday party.  Larry has three avocations, cabinet making, Mercedes vehicles and golf.  My connection with Larry is through golf.  He’s quite a player.  The party, however, gave me a chance to see some of the outstanding furniture he had made and to meet some of his Mercedes club friends.  Just before they cut the cake, I read the poem below.  A number of people came up to me afterwards and told me they appreciated that it was short.





LARRY’S SEVENTY-SEVENTH


A time to celebrate, a time to cheer,

A time for laughter, a time for a beer.

Ledbetter has a birthday, there’s no time to tarry,

David? No not David, it’s our good friend Larry.


If Larry’s your golf partner, hope for a warm day,

That Bama blood’s thin, and he’s been know to say Nay.

Don’t press him if he’s running late, it just makes him churly,

He thinks ten minutes before tee-time is arriving early.


Larry’s a golfer of extraordinary skill,

He can crush the ball clean over the hill.

But, when you hit it that far, some things are clear,

When you’re directionally challenged, you can’t find the sphere.

So when you gather your swing thoughts, here’s one additional,

If you’re going to swing hard, think about a provisional.


So Happy Birthday Larry, we wish you all the best,

Having you as a friend make us all feel blessed.

You brighten up our lives, you’ve never been a boor,

So Happy Birthday Larry, we wish you many, many more.



Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com

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Jigsaw Puzzle Therapy for Frigid Days

My goodness it has been a cold winter.  A miserable winter.  We have been in the Washington, DC area for twenty-four years this time and I can’t remember a winter this cold.  I keep waiting for Al Gore to explain this phenomenon.  I’m sure he can explain it.  I’m also sure it is just part of the big picture.  I’m just too damn cold to see it.


We stayed in the DC area after we retired because we had been here a long time and the winters really weren’t that bad.  I would explain to people how the storms that hit the Midwest usually missed us.  It had to do with the “ski board” effect of the Blue Ridge Mountains.  I was the only one exposing this position and I hoped I would be discovered and receive some kind of an award. There’s a lot of stupid people out there giving out awards. However, I think this winter has substantially reduced the chances of my theory catching on.

It was 15 degrees and we still had eight inches of snow on the ground and the bird feeders were almost empty (two were empty and the third was down to the nub).  I gave that a lot of thought.  I could fill the three bird feeders in about 12 minutes.  So I wouldn’t be outside too long.  I bundled up layer on top of layer and headed out to the shed where I keep the bird seed.  Nikki loves the snow and was nipping at my heels (a now useless sheep dog skill).  The shed had an 18-inch snow bank around the door.  So back to the house for the shovel. Nip, nip, nip.  Twelve minutes turned into a half an hour.  I’ve decided in the future to firmly apply a 27 degree wind chill factor rule. To hell with the 12 minute crap.

So what do you do when you are retired and it’s too cold and snowy to go outside?  Let’s see, you can make an idiot out of yourself on Facebook or you can watch TV.  I got a Facebook account so I would know what the grandchildren were doing.  Let’s just say it was a mixed bag.  They don’t get on Facebook to communicate with ole Grandpa.  And, do I really need to see You Tube stunts that didn’t make it?

Well a week ago I decided to drag out a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle of the castle at the Magic Kingdom.  It’s a lovely picture done by Thomas Kinkade.  We have been to Disney World a lot and this puzzle is a picture that Carole has taken over 50 times.  Her pictures have a lot more definition than Kinkade’s painting.  Except for part of the castle and the sky, all the pieces were a dark brown (including a lot of the lower castle) or dark green (water in front and the surrounding trees).  After I did the border and the top of the castle, I spent a lot of time wondering why I started the stupid puzzle.

I am now going to set out some basic rules for doing a jigsaw puzzle.  First, you need lots of room.  The puzzle may be less than three feet by two feet, but you need twice that amount of space for laying out the pieces.  You also need good light.  I had to set up in the dining room to have enough space, but the lighting in that room wasn’t so great.  So I’m sitting there with a flashlight looking at the pieces.  After five minutes, the pieces started getting darker. The flashlight batteries were heading for the battery graveyard. New batteries and I was good to go, just looking stupid.

Once you get enough of the pieces placed, you can look for odd shapes and then try to locate the piece with that shape.  I found a location with a very distinctive shape and looked through all of the pieces left with absolutely no luck.  I looked again.  Same result. And, of course, all the pieces left were some shade of gray.  My conclusions was that there was a piece missing.  That was crazy because I had broken the plastic seal on the bag with all the pieces tucked inside.  That bag had been approved by Inspector # 4.  He or she was not going to get away with this.

After you have spent twenty minutes looking for one piece, it’s time to move on to another part of the puzzle or quit for a few hours.  I quit for the night mumbling about Inspector # 4.

The next day (my sixth), I was down to less than 75 pieces and I knew they would fall into place very soon.  I had eight pieces assembled to each other, but not yet attached to the main puzzle. And quite frankly, I was running out of room.  Something had to give.  While trying to figure out where the eight-piece group fit, I noticed one piece attached to the wrong place.  You’re right, it was the piece I had spent 20 minutes looking for the day before!  I rapidly finished the puzzle.

While puzzles are a good way to spend a cold winter day, please remember that jigsaw puzzles, like chess, can become a form of sickness.  Limit your playing time or find a support group.  And, if by chance, you are Inspector # 4, I apologize.

Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com