I remember when I was efficient.  From the time the alarm clock went off, everything was planned and executed on time.  I was a stream-lined efficiency machine.  Now in retirement, there are less alarm clock settings.  Setting the alarm at 8:30 hardly counts.

This morning was kind of typical, except Carole left early to go to the dentist for a teeth cleaning.  That left me with no adult supervision.  I let our sheltie, Nikki out in our fenced-in back yard, then ate and looked at the paper.  The Washington Capitols changed coaches, but not the inability to make crisp passes, losing to the St. Louis Blues.

Then, I decided to do a little doggie pickup in the back yard.  The back yard had had three to six inches of leaves everywhere until Monday.  Now it was free of leaves and I would be able to ferret out what shouldn’t be there.  I put on a  light jacket, even though it was cold, because this was going to be a quick trip.  I had moderate success.  I know what moderate means, even if Herman Cain doesn’t know what “reassess” means.  While I was wandering around favorite back-yard routes, I heard a really loud bird.  I didn’t recognize the call, so I stood still and tried to find it.  It was a red-bellied woodpecker that feeds often in our yard.  Maybe the bird was upset because my sunflower seed feeder was empty.  I wandered out to the shed to fill the bird feeders.  I thought I could still make this a quick back-yard trip.  The shed was locked.  I always leave the shed unlocked, but because we traveled over Thanksgiving, I had locked it.

I went into the house, grabbed the keys and headed out.  There was one feeder I could reach without the ladder.  The shed was now crowded with hose containers.  In the winter I put them in the shed because the chipmunks like to hide in them and Nikki goes crazy.  Nikki actually knocks the hose containers over, but with no luck.  I filled the bird feeder and then tried to get to the ladder.  While trying to step over a hose container, I knocked over the bird feeder.  I hadn’t secured the top and the bird seed went everywhere.  Fortunately or unfortunately, this has happened before, so I was prepared.  I had a dust pan and brush right there.  My hands were now getting cold.  I should have changed jackets when I got the keys.

Ten minutes later, I’m in the house.  The feeders are filled, I’m sniffling and trying to remember what I was supposed to do today.  I’m sure it wasn’t writing this.

While I have been fumbling around, the red-bellied woodpecker has checked out.  Damn fickle bird.

Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com