Paris, oh Paris, what is it with the media,
I think we’ll even find you, listed in Wikipedia.
Your notoriety is well deserved,
You’ve made a career at getting observed.

But if you’re driving drunk, you don’t want attention,
You’ll end up arrested with a license suspension.
You say you drove legal, there was no abuse,
But ignorance of the law is no excuse.

Two trips to the jail, the first was a hoax,
But the sheriff got nailed, no more jokes.
So, back to the jail, please read the sign,
Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time.

Time off for good behavior, I really don’t want to know,
She got herself scrubbed up, and appeared on the Larry King Show.
Larry tried to have her search her soul, but there was nothing there to glean,
He avoided touchy subjects, like her time as a video queen.

The appearance was a nonevent, she really left no doubt,
She said she’d like to work for MADD, I don’t think they’ll go that route.
So, it’s quiet till the next time, when she does something outrageous,
Perhaps she has an illness, I hope it’s not contagious.