Making a military phone call in Germany in the late Sixties was maddening. I was stationed in Goeppingen, which is 30 miles East of Stuttgart and about a hundred miles South of Nuernberg. I was assigned to the 4th Armored Division and our troops had relocated around Nuernberg and Bamberg. So every call to the field was a real adventure.
First, I would dial O to get a Goeppingen operator (all were military or German civilians working for the US military). I would say, “Hello Goeppingen, give me Stuttgart.” Then, if I were lucky enough to get a Stuttgart operator, I would say, “Stuttgart, give me Nuernberg.” Each connection seemed to drain the energy out of the line. If I actually got a Nuernberg operator, the voice would be distant and low. I would be shouting, “Nuernberg, give me Bamberg (or Erlangen or Ansbach). The funny thing about Ansbach is that it is only 50 miles up the road, but you had to run through 250 miles of telephone wire to call them. I can remember telling my wife as I left for work, I have to call Bamberg this morning.” It was that big a deal.
Sometimes, everything would click like magic. I would give the Bamberg operator the number and the next thing I would hear was a busy signal. Then, I would try to compose myself and start over. “Hello Goeppingen, give me Stuttgart.” Whenever anyone in the office was making one of these calls, everyone knew it. Shouting to be heard on the other end was business as usual. Screaming when the call went dead was also quite common.
Our Deputy Staff Judge Advocate was Major Joe Donahue. After I had been in the office for about six months, Joe was promoted to lieutenant colonel. Both colonels and lieutenant colonels referred to themselves on the phone as colonels. So, the former Major Donahue was now a telephone colonel. Pretty heady stuff.
On the particular day in question, one of our legal clerks was talking to a battalion legal clerk in Bamberg. When a battalion completed a special courts-martial, they had to assemble the record of trial and send it to us for review. The trial had been completed for over two months and we were still waiting for the record of trial. Our clerk was very loud, as required, and very annoyed. Joe Donahue heard the commotion and asked our legal clerk what was wrong. After he found out about the late record of trial, he took the phone. He said, “This is Colonel Donahue, let me speak to your Adjutant.” The battalion adjutant ran all the administrative duties such as processing record of trial. When the lieutenant got on the phone, Colonel Donahue told him that he wanted the record of trial at Headquarters (Goeppingen) the next day and hung up. The crowd that had gathered, including me, was really impressed at how Joe had got things done.
Of course, things didn’t get done and it is great when you can learn tough lessons without being the subject of the lesson. The Adjutant went to his battalion commander to report that he needed to send a vehicle the next day to Headquarters to deliver a record of trial. The battalion commander was mad and reported to his brigade commander, who was also upset that someone at Headquarters was jerking them around. The brigade commander called the 4th Armored Division’s Chief of Staff (both full colonels) and asked, “Who the hell is Colonel Donahue?”
Joe had to go explain to the Chief of Staff what he had done. I suspect Joe spent most of his time listening. I learned that promotions are great, but you need to be cautious, because there is always someone out there senior to you. Also, I had been chewed out on the phone any number of times by senior officers. Sometimes, I deserved it, and sometimes, I didn’t. But, I could usually tell when the officer on the other end was playing for the crowd in his office. I resented that and made a decision. Whenever I had to call a subordinate on a difficult subject, I made sure that no one else was in my office.
The good news is that the little blip didn’t keep Joe from having a fine career, and I became a real student of human nature.
