“Just get in a lane and stay there.  It may take you a couple of extra minutes, but you will arrive more relaxed.”  Whoever said that has no concept of what it is like to be a Type A personality.  A Type A person who “just gets in a lane and stays there,” will probably not be able to compose a sentence when he climbs out of the car.

I don’t recall choosing to be a Type A nut.  Maybe it was because I was a middle child and had to fight for attention.  Anyway, be on notice, we are not going to stay in one lane.

Driving in rush hour to DC and back everyday was a real challenge.  In the morning I picked up my carpool at 7:00 AM.  The carpool  permitted me to use the HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lanes.  We could zip right into the city.  Then, some well-meaning individual decided that if you drove a hybrid vehicle, you could use the HOV lanes.  So, then we had all those hybrid vehicles (one person in each) jamming up the HOV lanes.  Sometimes, we would look over and the regular lanes would be moving faster.  Because it was early, we still navigated through the city fairly well.  Arent Fox is located on the corner of Connecticut and L Street.

The real problem was trying to get home.  Our parking garage was on 18th Street, which is one-way heading North.  That meant I had to drive North for a couple of blocks before I could make it over to 19th Street and head South toward Virginia.  19th Street was a battleground and not for the faint of heart.  Nobody stayed in one lane.

I picked up a few tips from other Type A rush-hour warriors that proved very helpful.  First, never leave any space between you and the car in front of you.  If you do, someone will cut you off.  Second, never use your turn signals until you are already in the lane you are entering.  If you turn on your blinker too soon, there will be no space to move into.  Better yet, never use them.

Never drop your guard.  You must remain alert every moment.  If you try to change the radio station, you may not make it home.  I became rather stoic about having an accident.  I used to say, “Everyday, I am fighting the odds.”  Now that I am retired, I am surprised that I stepped away without hitting anything or being hit.

I do not return gestures (other than smiling at them).  That usually causes wild infuriation.  When someone blasts their horn, I assume its at me.  If I haven’t done anything, I become confused.  I quickly run over the last 30 seconds to see if there isn’t something I can take credit for.

If you are going to navigate downtown rush-hour traffic, you need a particular type of car.  You don’t want a boat, like the Town Car.  You have to be powerfully quick, but without unnecessary bulk.  I drive a Lincoln LS (a V-8 on a Jaguar chassis).

I just couldn’t own a small car.  When I was at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) certain members of Congress were trying to pass a law requiring cars to get 40 miles per gallon (MPG).  Can manufacturers do that?  Sure.  I think the Geo Metro got 50 MPG.  You just have to take steel out of the car and it will get better gas mileage.  Of course, the cars won’t be as safe.  Any number of advocacy groups (mostly controlled be Nader) insisted that small cars were just as safe as large cars. 

We, at NHTSA, conducted some tests to disprove that.  We took a 4,000 pound 1991 Ford Fairlane and crashed it into a 2,000 pound Suzuki Swift.  Both vehicles were traveling at 36 mph and they crashed with a 60% frontal offset.  That means that 60% of each cars front end made contact with the other car.  We sent the resulting video to members of Congress and that was the end of the proposed legislation.  Why?  Well, the big car literally ate the little car.  It was so devastating that no one would ever again say small cars are just as safe as large cars (I still have the video).  Put some steel around you.  You will feel better in the morning.

Congress, in order to save fuel, recently raised the Corporate Average Fuel Economy mileage standard to 35 MPG by the year 2020.  We’ll see what those cars look like at that time.  I’ll tell you for sure, they won’t want to run into a Ford Fairlane.