Golf is my passion.  And, for the first 55 years of my life, I was a miserable golfer.  What made it even more frustrating  was that I played almost everything else fairly well.  I played baseball, basketball, football, soccer, tennis, and even ping-pong at a fairly high amateur level.  But, at golf, I stunk!  Finally about ten years ago, I started going to three-day golf schools down in Florida (I have now been to four) and have learned how to play the game – not great – but, I no longer feel like a jerk.

I played poorly the last time out and decided to write a poem about the agony of poor play.  But I waited too long and my spirits improved (all I got down was “It’s just a game, or so they say, then why can it take my manhood away?).  So the spilling out of my emotions will have to wait for another really bad round.  I hope it is not too soon.

I decided to write about my seven wood with the cracked shaft.  As I wrote the poem, I actually decided what to do about replacing it.  Enjoy.


               Ode to a Cracked Seven Wood

Why do they call them woods, when they’re really made of metal,
You hit the ball on the screws, now that’s another fine kettle.
But it brings back memories of long past days,
A game of tradition and an earlier phase.

My seven wood’s broke, there’s a crack in the shaft,
And grass sticking out, when I saw it I laughed.
For without the grass, I wouldn’t have seen,
That fine little crack on the Fujikura sheen.

Do I put on a new shaft, or get a new club?
The technology is better, that is the rub.
A seven wood or a hybrid, I’ll just have to see,
I can purchase a hybrid with the same degree.

I think I’ll stay with the seven, I have memories fond,
There were times on par threes, when I cleared a pond.
The Pings are now weighted to draw or to fade,
Who thought up that stunt, never saw how I played.

What if you fade a slice or draw a hook?
You’d be in the wrong fairway and feel like a schnook.
So I asked for my Ping to be weighted for straight,
Then if it curves left or right, it’ll just be my fate.