Only in America can somebody cut holes in a blanket and have the audacity to sell it as a “Snuggie.”  “One size fits all.”  You bet.  When an item has no shape, of course, one size fits all.  And you can talk on the phone without having to throw off your warm blanket, because you are wearing it.

It is also perfect for people on a diet who like to cheat, but don’t want to get caught.  You can hide a box of chocolate and a turkey leg inside the Snuggie and no one will be the wiser.  They have now come out with a leopard skin patterned Snuggie.  This is for the style conscious purchaser.  And, with Veterans Day right around the corner, they should come out with a camouflage Snuggie.  Hey kid, get your camouflage Snuggie and you will never have to go to bed on time again.  Your parents won’t be able to find you.

Snuggies need to steal the Bud Light punch line.  “Snuggies are so popular, because they have snuggability.”  Not too light, not too heavy.  That’s snuggability!

I don’t think Snuggies have pockets.  I don’t know why.  It doesn’t seem like such a leap to put a pocket or two on the Snuggie.  Maybe this will come out for Christmas.  With a pocket, you could take your Chia Pet with you.  I have already figured out that the nuts who are buying Snuggies are the same nuts who already own a Chia Pet.  Those are the pets that you water and grass or clover or something grows out of them.  How about a Snuggie that when you water it, something — No.  Never mind.

Anyway, I went on line to see if Chia is still selling their pets.  They are.  They will now even sell you a bust of Homer Simpson where you can water his hair and green stuff will grow.  Wait.  There’s more.  You can also purchase a bust of President Obama.  Again, you water and he grows green hair.  I think this was personally approved by his environmental Czar.  For $19.95, you get the bust, seed packets for three plantings, a plastic drip tray and instructions.  It goes on to say that the teleprompter is not included.