The Commissary is one of the real bennies of being active duty or retired military.  The PX is OK, but you can probably get just as good a price at Costco or Walmart.  But nothing beats the Commissary.  My wife, Carole, is an expert at price comparison.  When they say re-up for the bennies, they are talking about medical care, retirement and the Commissary.

But, why would any sane retired person go to the Commissary on a Saturday?  Well, we were already out and it seemed like a good idea until we saw the parking lot.  But we were there.  I generally drop Carole off and stay in the car for 30-40 minutes and read (or sleep).  Neither is overrated.  When I did go in, she was still in produce.  Bad sign.

I have spoken of my quirks with green visors and pens.  Well, Carole’s quirk is making sure she has enough food in the house.  She has six of everything.  If she gets down to three, she runs out and gets three more.  We never run out of anything.   We do throw stuff away because it expired years ago.  The good news is that the 12 cases of Coke we have in the garage have no expiration date.

I have my own Commissary list.  Two items:  dental floss and chap stick.  Were we out of the items?  Oh contraire.  Carole has a drawer for dental floss and one for Chap Stick (small drawers).  I went through the dental floss drawer and found three mint waxed and one mint woven.  I don’t mind the mint.  It’s not high on my priority list when I am flossing.  I just want to get it over.   The woven stuff gets stuck in my teeth.  I also have a picture in my mind of the wax attaching to my teeth and negotiating a deal with gingivitis.

Johnson & Johnson’s Reach makes an unwaxed, unflavored floss.  That’s what I wanted.  When I found the floss area, there was a woman standing in my way.  I was in no hurry.  I didn’t want to “crowd her space.”   However, she took too long in terms of floss buying time.  I wished I would have brought in my book.  She finally made her decision and left and I grabbed my floss and moved on to the Chap Stick area.

I mentioned the Chap Stick drawer.  Carole has medicated Chap Stick, skin-care Chap Stick and cherry and strawberry Chap Stick.  I had previously taken the moisturized Chap Stick and was running low.  That was what I wanted.  I found it.  It said, “moisturizer,” “skin protectant/sunscreen SPF 15.”  Sounded great.  Then I noticed it said, “Limited Edition Design!”  Limited edition design?  Chap Stick?  It blew my mind.  And I had been questioning the relevancy of flavored floss.

I couldn’t find out how limited the edition was, but I bought it anyway.  Eat your heart out.