Below is another article written while I was the Staff Judge Advocate at Fort Riley, Kansas in the early 1980’s.
May 2, 1982.
Rodney Dangerfield (I wonder if that is his real name. I would never name a child Rodney) says he don’t get no respect. The way he throws a bowling ball, he don’t deserve no respect. If he thinks things are bad now, he should try being a JAG Officer.
I went over to the Officers Club last Friday night for Happy Hour. The place was so empty there was an echo. Come back. There is no truth that there are MP’s roaming the halls with breathalyzers.
You don’t have to get drunk to have a good time and Friday night, after a long week, is a good time to relax. They also have free chow on Friday night. It’s a little overpriced, but the heartburn is also free. You have to eat the meatballs with a toothpick, because the sauce had been dissolving the plastic forks.
Again, back to the plight of the poor JAG. I’m standing in the chow line with my last two Tums clutched tightly in my left fist. There are two officers in the front of the line and one of them has a black lunch pail. After they fill up their plates and the pail, they head out of the club. One officer in line said, “I didn’t know we were providing carry out.” Then a lieutenant behind me in line announces in a loud voice, “they are probably JAGs.”
It didn’t take the lieutenant long to find out that they weren’t, but that I was. I think he also lost his appetite. The whole thing really gets me. It was a cheap shot. So, if we seem a little defensive at times, humor us.
Once in a while we do good work. My legal assistance attorneys are really hotshots when it comes to protecting the consumer rights of our soldiers. They have a zeal that is really exciting.
They found out about a gas station downtown which was charging $10 per bad check, plus $1 per day until the check is redeemed. Now nobody wants the GI bouncing a bad check, but fair is fair and that ain’t.
One GI bounced three checks for a total of 28 bucks and he ended up paying $70 in service charges. The Soldier didn’t have the money for the service charge so he had to wait till payday, and each day cost him another buck.
We took our best shot at the gas station trying to convince them to change their policy. They seemed concerned and were willing to make some token offer in this one case, but they refused to change their policy.
So my legal assistance office has now brought in the horsepower of the Consumer Protection Division of the Attorney General’s Office. And we have every reason to believe that the gas station policy will be struck down because it is unconscionable (that’s a fifty-cent word meaning it stinks).
Written by PJ Rice on www.ricequips.com
