After all these years, I now find out that “ear wax is beneficial and self cleaning.” That is why you shouldn’t put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear. Of course, they also said that the tooth fairy recovers teeth that are left under pillows. I’m not sure what to believe!
All these years I have been avoiding the benefits of earwax. I don’t want it back. Of course, most of it was absorbed into those terrible Q-tips. Q-tips is the cotton swab of choice. Some of the lesser brands really do a number on your ear. Q-tips had done everything possible to make it feel comfortable in your ear. There is “more soft cotton on the tip,” and it has a bendable shaft. It is a life insurance policy, too. No, no. That’s another stupid commercial.
I get a kick out of the Q-tips box. It has a warning. It says, “Do not insert swab into ear canal.” If people stop inserting Q-tips into ear canals, sell your Unilever stock. Then the warning goes on to say, “If used to clean ears, stroke swab gently around the outer surface of the ear only.” Why would anyone want to stroke around the outer surface of the ear? That isn’t where the tickle is coming from. I guess that annoying tickling feeling is also beneficial.
If you haven’t figured it out, I will tell you that I clean out my ears with Q-tips. Now, as an experienced user, I will give you some important tips. Never clean out your ears while jogging. It can be done, but it is too tricky for a beginner. Next, while sitting perfectly still, grab the swab at a very short distance from the cotton end. That way, even if you jam it in it won’t hit bottom. Next, keep the swab pressed against the side of the ear canal. If you feel a sharp pain, you are in too deeply. If your Q-tip has blood on it, you belong to that 10% who can’t pitch or catch a softball and you should seek medical help.
When I was 13, I went to Champaign Urbana, Illinois to play in a state baseball tournament. I think it was a three-day tournament. I woke up the second day with a terrible ear ache (this was before I knew what a Q-tip was). Everything sounded like I was in a twenty-foot well. Each coach had a different remedy. One held me upside down. Another put my bad ear towards the ground and pounded on the other side of my head. It didn’t help my ear, but I felt better when he stopped pounding. The third coach lit up a cigar and blew smoke in my ear. Nothing helped. They finally quit trying when they found out I could still play, even though I was hurting.
I should mention that the article that says ear wax is good for you goes on to state that after you are 65 years old, the wax gets thicker and contains more ear hair. I didn’t even know I had ear hair and now I find out it is falling out. The article concludes that 12 million people a year go to the doctor for impacted ear wax. They want you to believe that that is caused by people pushing the ear wax deeper into their ear with cotton swabs. Don’t believe them. It is those people who aren’t cleaning out their ears with a Q-tip.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
Time to go see if by chance some well-endowed young women is doing yoga on your lawn. Do not mow.
Jack–Great playing w/U last week. Spoke to Howard & he loves you. Give me your goddam e-address, please. Also, give Larry a hug for me! love the blog.
Best,
Jim
No matter how many times experts say that cotton swabs should not be used to clean our ears, many people still use them for it. Good post.