I have been writing silliness for a long time. But I hadn’t given much thought as to when I started. Not too long ago, someone asked me that specific question. So, I gave it some thought.
I considered some of the exams I wrote in college pretty humorous, but the grades I got weren’t. The first time I started writing a column was in Vietnam. The 1st Cav had a weekly publication, and I wrote articles each week under the title, “The Judge Says.” I let the Division know what was happening in our courtrooms. One of my buddies said I should call it, “Military Law for Dummies.”
The first article I published in a newspaper was in 1972 in the Charlottesville Daily Progress. The University was having a fit over streaking, and I decided to poke fun. It was published as a letter to the editor, and I have reprinted it below. It is called, “After Streaking, What?”
Rah, Rah, Raw for the streaking streakers of this wonderful country. No one should really complain. Youth have always had an overabundance of energy, and it must be expended. So why not streak? Just keep in mind that three years ago, some of these kids were expending their energy by making bombs and burning down buildings on campus. Bless their streaking streaks.
However, I am concerned about the longevity of streaking. While streaking is great for cool spring nights, I fear that the heat of the summer will have a deterrent effect upon even the heartiest of streakers and the sport will wane. In short, streaking will soon be out of season. I submit that those of us who advocated harmless frolic are compelled to bring forth an acceptable substitute.
The suggested substitute would consist of the student climbing up on the outside of a university building in the nude and assuming a position on the facade as a gargoyle. Our society has long accepted the appearance of weird looking gargoyles on buildings, so it would be inconsistent to object to gargoyling. While universities have competed to see which could gather the largest group of streakers, gargoyling too, can have it competitive aspects. For example, most gargoyles on campus, or the highest gargoyle, or the weirdest looking.
The ultimate contest could be gargoyling for the longest period of time. Any student who could hold his pose for over four hours would definitely be a contender. By then, he might be subjected to such adverse elements as fatigue, campus police and birds.
While I realize that gargoyling, like streaking, suffers from the malady of being seasonal, those of us who are organizing the Society for the Encouragement of Harmless Frolic are already concerning ourselves with selection of a winter sport. Something with mittens.