No, it’s not the commercials. I like watching commercials, but I don’t think I would stop drinking Coke because their commercial offended me. The old Snickers’ commercial where a “Snickers deprived person” destroyed other people’s property offended me, but I never stopped eating Snickers. Now, Snickers has a commercial where Roseanne Barr gets clobbered by a great big swinging log. I kind of like that one.
I don’t care for the Audi commercials, but that’s not my reason for not buying the car. I do, however, believe the commercials reflect the arrogance of the company. The commercial I’m thinking of depicts the owners of Mercedes, Lexus and BMW as mindless sheep following the pack. While the owners of Audis are superior people who are able to think and decide for themselves. I thought the arrogance of the commercial reflected the arrogance of the company.
Back in the mid-80s, the Audi 5000 received a lot of bad publicity when the owners claimed the cars were subject to suddenly accelerating for no good reason. I’m satisfied that the sudden acceleration wasn’t Audi’s fault. It was later determined by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration that the cause of the problem was “pedal misapplication” (the drivers were stepping on the gas pedal and not the brake pedal – and guess what, the harder they pushed, the faster they went). Even though Audi did not feel responsible, they did move the gas pedal and the brake pedal a little farther apart. They were also one of the first companies to put in a brake interlock system, so that the driver could not shift out of park until he had his foot on the brake.
The problem with the sudden acceleration fiasco was that Audi wasn’t quick enough to respond. It doesn’t matter if you have an engineering masterpiece if no one is buying the car. Duh! Their arrogance kept them from being proactive.
I want to digress for a moment. Don’t worry, I will tell you why I will never buy an Audi. But I want to mention something that keeps auto manufacturers from quickly improving safety features. It is product liability law suits. If the manufacturer is being sued over, let’s say a stablility/rollover issue, then, if they widen their wheel base, the plaintiff’s attorney will point to that change as proof that the earlier model was unsafe. Product liability law suits are like a game where fair play is off the table.
It was late in the year 2000 and I had just been hired by Bridgestone/Firestone to assist them in their major tire problem. The Firestone ATX and Wilderness tires were involved in accidents where the tread had separated from the tire. Since I was representing the company, they asked me to assist them in a small problem they were having with tires on the Audi TT.
The Audi TT was, and probably still is, a neat little sports car. Bridgestone provided the high performance tires for the TT (225/45R-17/91Y). They were quite wide, but the distance from the tread to the rim was only about three inches. This only became a problem when the driver sped through a deep pot hole. This could cause the sidewall to pinch the rim and cause a bubble or blister on the tire. In Europe, where the tires had been around for years, the driver would recognize that he had abused the tire and go out and purchase a new one. In the United States, the driver would return to the dealer and claim the tire was defective.
I think both Audi and Bridgestone knew there was nothing wrong with the tires, but Audi wanted to have a meeting to discuss the problem and, quite frankly, Bridgestone wanted to help their customer. The meeting was set up in Washington at 11:30 AM at the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center. I attended the meeting along with the account sales executive and a senior Bridgestone engineer.
When we arrived in Audi’s reception area, we could see that another meeting was going on in the glass enclosed conference room. We got comfortable and waited. Around noon, the meeting was still proceeding and catering carts arrived from some eating establishment probably buried somewhere in the enormous building. I thought, hey, I may get a free lunch out of this. Free lunches are good. The meeting broke up about 12:30 PM. The Audi officials came out and greeted us and then disappeared for a few minutes. Lunch was wheeled into the conference room. Things were really looking up. Then, the Audi officials came back, proceeded into the conference room, closed the door and ate their lunch for the next 45 minutes. We got to watch. I would have settled for a slice of cheese. Hey, are you going to eat that pickle?
We started our meeting about 1:30 PM. The meeting went as expected. Everyone agreed there was nothing wrong with the tires and Bridgestone agreed to assist Audi in replacing damaged tires at no cost to the costumers. Of course, nothing was said about the shabby way we were treated. Because of their superior attitude, it probably never occurred to them that the peasants had to eat too.
It is hard to be politically correct when dealing with such jerks. I will just say that in the United States Army we make sure the troops are fed. And we have been pretty successful. Is that subtle enough? As I have grown older, I have mellowed. I now will agree to ride in the back seat of an Audi, as long as I am being chauffeured by an Audi executive.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
All posts by pajarice
Too Late for a New Year’s Resolution?
I’m not a big New Year’s Resolution guy. This year, I didn’t give it any thought at all. A couple down the street threw a New Year’s Day reception. I told some neighbors present that I hadn’t done anything about New Year’s resolutions. A woman said, “It’s not too late. You can make New Year’s resolutions anytime.”
This really got me thinking. I always thought you had to make them before the year started. I realized that I didn’t know the rules for New Year’s resolutions. I needed to find the rules and study them. Maybe it wasn’t too late. In fact, the longer you wait in the year, the better your chances are at being successful.
So I Googled “New Year’s Resolution Rules.” Of course Google has something on everything. I found one article entitled the Seven Rules of New Year’s Resolutions. Rule one and two were exactly the same. “Do not talk about New Year’s resolutions.” I think the idea was, if you don’t talk about it, you won’t have a “falsely inflated self image” (whatever that means). Sounds pretty hokey. I doubt if many people spend time bragging about New Year’s resolutions. But, again, I’m not a NYR guy. Then, rules number 5 & 6 were “commit your New Year’s resolution to a friend” and “have the friend hold you accountable.” I am struggling with not talking about it but telling a friend. Wouldn’t telling a friend falsely inflate something or other? I was grateful to learn that none of the rules demand penalties. That’s because I think breaking New Year’s resolutions is right up there with death and taxes.
WinSoft is holding a contest for people to submit (on their software) the most funny or crazy resolution. What’s exciting about this is that the contest deadline is on January 16, 2012 at Midnight in Paris, France. This is exceedingly important because it proves that New Year’s resolutions don’t have to be made before the start of the year.
So I think I still have time. I’m having trouble coming up with a resolution. I would like to discover a full proof remedy for stopping hiccups or building an invisible teleprompter, but I’m not qualified. I thought about saying, “I resolve to be a better person this year.” That sounds lofty. But better than what? Better than I was last year? Better than somebody else? That seems vain. There are some people that it would be impossible to be better than, like Superman. Faster that a speeding bullet, more powerful that a locomotive. Not bad for a mild mannered reporter. If I were better than President Obama, the media wouldn’t tell you. Fox News might. You know – fair and balanced.
Speaking of politics, I could resolve to get my man elected. If I do everything I can and my man loses, where does that leave my resolution? I think there should be a Federal advisory board to answer such questions. We could call it the New Year’s Resolution Resolution Board.
So where does that leave me? I clearly have until January 16th. I could pass or have a stealth resolution. Stealth resolutions are not subject to the Resolution Resolution Board. I think I will make a resolution to publish more blogs this year. It is obvious that I don’t put much emphasis on substance. Go Daddy, my web meister, keeps all kind of stats for me. So far I publish .76 blogs per week. That comes to three and a third per month. I should be able to do better. When you write the junk I write about, you don’t have to worry about writer’s block. I think I will resolve to publish a blog a week. I have a few subjects lined up and think I can rock right along until late January!
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
Christmas Commentary – 2011
It grieves me to report on the national level, Everything seems to have gone straight to the Devil. The wars in the Middle East have lasted too long, Incompetence of our leaders is like a country song. Solyndra and Fast and Furious, these things are criminal, The corruption in Washington is truly seminal. Fifteen trillion, I say, that’s quite large. Fifteen trillion, I say, who’s in charge. I think there’s a solution, but we have to be stout, Do what’s best for our country and throw the bums out. Christmas came early in 2011, It happened in St. Louis, it seemed like Heaven. Tony was so jolly, all dressed in red, Yaddie, Albert and Carp all pulling the sled. The miracle in St. Louis, it was hard to believe, They pulled the win out of their sleeve. To the top of the fence, then over the wall, Freeze dashed away, dashed away, dashed away all. Mary and Blanche are 96 and 94, Their bodies aren’t that willing, but their spirits still soar. Mary lives with daughter Karen, who supports every night, Blanche has son Will close, who keeps everything right. We overdosed on travel, but February was great, Disney World, Ledbetter Golf and Missy at a pleasant rate. But June thru August took its toll, our suitcases were never stored, Myrtle Beach golf to RAJA in C’Ville, there was no time to get bored. Then the family reunion in Branson, Missouri, turned out to be a cool fit, We ate and played, we laughed and shared, and Silver Dollar City was a great hit. So we made it to August, but no time to snooze, We joined the Holdaways on an Alaskan cruise. This was the best, mucho glaciers and whales, Each time more exciting as we retell the tales. A 55th high school reunion finished the trek, Three months of exhaustion, but what the heck. We saw great friends and family, it was like a spell, Too bad Jack’s golf game simply went to Hell. Most grandchildren entered the college years, We remember the fears, or was it the beers? It’s Central Florida for Tyler and Kristin and Josh at Virginia Tech, Brandon’s at Northern Arizona, the teachers must be a wreck. Grant is working a computer gig, that’s tedious but provides a need, Jack’s our only middle school child and he’s growing like a weed. Thanksgiving in Roanoke with Paul and Sandy, The feast was fantastic, the warm feelings just dandy. Another Crystal Cruise before the end of the year, The Mexican Riviera, I know that sounds queer. But we’ll be home for Christmas, the tree’s already up, We’ll be toasting our dear friends with an overflowing cup. So to all our loved ones at this special time of year, Have a blessed Merry Christmas and Happy New Year cheer.
It’s that time again for my Christmas Poem. Please enjoy.
Christmas Commentary – 2011
A year of good news and bad news I publish in haste,
The clock is running, I have no time to waste.
The Rices are well, a year older and wiser,
Carole in her robe and Jack in his visor.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Jack and Carole
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
Redskins – One More Stinking Loss
Monday’s headline in the Washington Post sport’s section read “For Redskins, Tough Losses.” The article on the game’s loss mentioned we gave up three touchdowns in the 4th quarter. The problem with the Redskins’ game plan in the 4th quarter was that they weren’t trying to win, they were trying not to lose.
At the end of three quarters the score was 13 – 13. With about 10 minutes and 30 seconds left, we pinned the Jets back on their 11-yard line. The defense held and after three plays, the Jets were punting from their own 20. Banks ran the punt back for the Redskins and guess what? We had the ball on the Jet’s 31 yard line! Just 31 yards from a touchdown. But rather than try to score, we went into a shell. I said to my wife, “We aren’t trying to score, we are just positioning ourselves for a field goal.” We ran the ball three times, gaining very little and then kicked a 46- yard field goal. That gave us a three point lead.
I am satisfied that not going for a touchdown on that series destroyed our chances of winning. The Jets came right down the field and five plays later, we were behind. Then, our uphill battle went to hell in a hand basket.
My problem is who is in charge? Who decided that three points would do, when everybody watching knew we needed a touchdown. When you go for it, is there a chance that a pass will get intercepted? You bet. There is also a chance for a touchdown. In the words of the state lottery, you need to play to win!
I am a board certified, level 7, armchair quarterback and kibitzer. From my years of observing, I have determined that if you pass on running downs and run on passing downs, you will have more success than doing the obvious. Against Seattle, we did pass on running downs and we were quite successful, but I didn’t see much of that against the Jets.
I think that the owner, Dan Snyder, is a big part of the problem. He has done some really stupid things like firing Marty Schottenheimer after one 8 and 8 season in which Marty won his last five games. And who did Snyder hire? He hired the “ball coach,” Steve Spurrier (12-20), who is probably a decent college coach (probably also a good high school coach), but he turned out to be a rotten pro coach. Another disaster falling on the shoulders of Snyder is the hiring of Jim Zorn. Jim was a nice guy, but had no business being a head coach (12-20). After six games in his second season, Snyder stripped Zorn of his play calling duties. Snyder could have fired him rather than humiliating him. But that might have cost Snyder more money. If he could get Zorn to quit, he could save some money. Never mind what this stunt was doing to the football team. As long as Snyder is making money, I don’t think we can get rid of him.
I am not a big Shanahan fan. He was 6 and 10 his first season and probably won’t be any better this year. But firing the coach every two years doesn’t seem to be the answer. Who knows, things can’t get much worse. Give him a couple more years to put a team together.
Of course the headline regarding “tough losses,” also referred to our two players (Trent Williams, starting left tackle and Fred Davis, starting tight end) who have been suspended for the rest of the season for smoking pot. They were tested three times over an extended period and failed the test each time. They both knew if they failed the third time they would be suspended, but they did their thing anyway. I love Thomas Boswell’s line about it in the Post where he said, “Sometimes a drug test is really an IQ test.”
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
A Typical Morning
I remember when I was efficient. From the time the alarm clock went off, everything was planned and executed on time. I was a stream-lined efficiency machine. Now in retirement, there are less alarm clock settings. Setting the alarm at 8:30 hardly counts.
This morning was kind of typical, except Carole left early to go to the dentist for a teeth cleaning. That left me with no adult supervision. I let our sheltie, Nikki out in our fenced-in back yard, then ate and looked at the paper. The Washington Capitols changed coaches, but not the inability to make crisp passes, losing to the St. Louis Blues.
Then, I decided to do a little doggie pickup in the back yard. The back yard had had three to six inches of leaves everywhere until Monday. Now it was free of leaves and I would be able to ferret out what shouldn’t be there. I put on a light jacket, even though it was cold, because this was going to be a quick trip. I had moderate success. I know what moderate means, even if Herman Cain doesn’t know what “reassess” means. While I was wandering around favorite back-yard routes, I heard a really loud bird. I didn’t recognize the call, so I stood still and tried to find it. It was a red-bellied woodpecker that feeds often in our yard. Maybe the bird was upset because my sunflower seed feeder was empty. I wandered out to the shed to fill the bird feeders. I thought I could still make this a quick back-yard trip. The shed was locked. I always leave the shed unlocked, but because we traveled over Thanksgiving, I had locked it.
I went into the house, grabbed the keys and headed out. There was one feeder I could reach without the ladder. The shed was now crowded with hose containers. In the winter I put them in the shed because the chipmunks like to hide in them and Nikki goes crazy. Nikki actually knocks the hose containers over, but with no luck. I filled the bird feeder and then tried to get to the ladder. While trying to step over a hose container, I knocked over the bird feeder. I hadn’t secured the top and the bird seed went everywhere. Fortunately or unfortunately, this has happened before, so I was prepared. I had a dust pan and brush right there. My hands were now getting cold. I should have changed jackets when I got the keys.
Ten minutes later, I’m in the house. The feeders are filled, I’m sniffling and trying to remember what I was supposed to do today. I’m sure it wasn’t writing this.
While I have been fumbling around, the red-bellied woodpecker has checked out. Damn fickle bird.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
Senior Moments
Yesterday caused me to pause and reflect. When you get to be “senior,” everything that goes wrong is attributed to your seniorness. Well, I did something pretty dumb yesterday and it got me thinking. It’s too easy and unfair to blame everything that goes wrong on being “senior.”
This day had been a long one, but enjoyable. I had had a good round of golf, which has been happening less frequently. We turned the TV off at 11 o’clock and were starting the migration upstairs. As I walked into the kitchen, four little blue lights belonging to the dishwasher were glowing at me. We had forgotten to empty the dishwasher.
Carole came into the kitchen and started wiping off the water that gathers on the upside down glasses and cups. Then she started emptying the dishwasher, placing things on the counter. I would grab the dishes and glasses off of the counter and tuck them into their assigned places in the cabinets. Everything has its place.
I started with the glasses and cups. Sitting on the counter next to the clean glasses was Carole’s ice water glass which was over half full. I grabbed it by its handle and turned it over to fit it into its spot. All hell broke loose. Water and ice hit the counter, the floor and me. I suspect I was holding the glass kind of high when I turned it over. The water went everywhere. Some of our corner cabinets come all the way down to the counter. I am told they are called garages. Well, I parked water and ice all over the inside of the garage. I’m glad she wasn’t drinking a Dr. Pepper.
Fifteen minutes later everything was back to normal. While such situations require a grave apologetic mood, I couldn’t help but be amused at such a stupid stunt. I really wanted to laugh, but, of course, you can’t when you are seeking forgiveness.
Later, I started thinking how easy it is to blame such screw ups on being “senior.” “He’s an old fuddy-duddy.” Well, I want you to know that I’ve been pulling stunts like this for years. It is unfair to blame mishaps on seniorities.
In my early twenties, I went to work without a belt on. I guess that’s no big deal if you work for IBM or the telephone company, but I was in the Army. And with no belt, I was out of uniform. God bless the sergeant major who took me aside and told me so I could remedy the problem. The rest of the office was having a good time at my expense.
In law school, at an even earlier age, we lived about two miles south of the school. I would drop Carole off downtown where she worked and then pick her up at the end of the day. This particular day was in the dead of winter and the temperature was in the teens. When I came out of class the wind was blowing 20 to 30 miles per hour from the north. But I had a big parka with a fur hood. I just pointed myself south and let the wind pound on my back and blow me home. When it was time to pick up Carole, I grabbed my keys and started out to the car. No car. I had driven that day to school and the car was in the parking lot next to Tate Hall. The wind had not died down, nor changed direction as I started my two mile trek into the icy blast.
So I think it is unfair to blame screw ups on being “senior.” I had a real good point to close with, but it escapes me right now. I will say that men of all ages, on occasion, forget to zip their fly. So I put no special meaning in the fact that while playing golf with my buddies the other day, it took me 12 holes to realize that my fly was unzipped. I am sure I would have recognized it sooner had it been colder or more windy.
Written by PJ Rice on www.ricequips.com
Cardinals, Cardinals, Forever Cardinals
There isn’t much that most people agree on. But, most people agree that St. Louis is a great baseball town. The people of St Louis love the Cardinals. They also are great, knowledgeable fans. They respect the players and don’t boo a botched play. They also applaud for an opposing player who makes a great play. That is the atmosphere I grew up in.
When I was a little kid, I used to go to bed each night listening to Harry Carey and Gabby Street broadcasting the Cardinal games. As soon as the team would get close to 500 ball, Harry would start figuring what we had to do to get into first place. Back then, there was no National League playoff. You either won the pennant or you went home. The Cardinals won their share in the Forties, not in the Fifties.
My dad had been a professional baseball player and in the early 50’s was scouting for the Cardinals. In 1952, we were invited over to Sportsman’s Park to see a new pitching phenom. The young pitcher was Stu Miller and the Cards were playing the Brooklyn Dodgers. We were sitting right behind home plate. Miller had a slow curve that swept from inside the plate to way outside. I still remember Miller striking out Roy Campanella. After the last strike, Campy leaned on one leg and the bat and stared out at Miller. It appeared he was thinking, “Where in the world did that pitch come from?”
In 1954, I was there the day that Stan the Man hit five home runs in a double header against the New York Giants. I guess I have made it quite clear that I grew up with the Cardinals as a main part of my childhood.
Through the years, we Redbird fans have had our ups and downs. After beating the Milwaukee Brewers (then in the American League) in 1982 to win the World Series for the 9th time, we took on Kansas City in 1985 for number 10. We were ahead 3 games to 2 and 1-0 in the 9th inning of game six. The first ball hit in the bottom of the ninth was to the Cardinal first baseman Jack Clark who tossed it to pitcher Todd Worrell. The runner was clearly out, but umpire Don Denkinger called the runner safe. Denkinger later admitted that he had blown the call. Things went down hill after that and we ended up losing 2-1. Game seven was a Cardinal debacle. KC was the world champs.
In 2006, the Cardinals finished the season the same way Boston and Atlanta did this year. With two weeks to play, the Cards had an 8 1/2 game lead over the Houston Astros. The Cards lost seven games in a row, including four to the Astros. Well, the Cards lost the last game of the season, but so did the Astros, causing the Cards to limp into the playoffs. I figured they would lose in the the first round of the playoffs, but at least they weren’t humiliated by missing the playoffs completely.
It turned out we raced through San Diego and squeaked out a seven-game win over the New York Mets. Yadier Molina hit a home run in the top of the ninth to give the Cards a 2-1 lead. In the bottom of the ninth, rookie closer, Adam Wainwright, ended up with the bases loaded, two outs and Carlos Beltran at the plate. Beltran had destroyed the Cardinals for years as an Astro. But with two strikes on Beltran, Wainwright buckled Beltran’s knees with a curve ball that caught the center of the plate.
After the playoff with the Mets, the World Series with Detroit was anti-climatic. We weren’t supposed to beat San Diego or the Mets. We were a prohibitive underdog against the Tigers, but we beat them in five games. I guess that’s why they play the game. We seem to make Las Vegas look bad.
But nothing, I mean nothing, in my life long love affair with the Cardinals prepared me for this years World Series against the Texas Rangers. We weren’t supposed to be there. Duh. We weren’t supposed to even make the playoffs. I guess you and I must have heard the next line regurgitated by announcers and commentators hundreds of times – “12 1/2 games out of the Wild Card on August 25th.” You need help to make up that kind of distance and we got it. We made the playoff on the last day of the season. Of course we were the underdog against the Phillies and the Brewers. Does that sound familiar? We beat them both and guess what? Texas was the prohibitive favorite to win the World Series. Somewhere along the way, it would seem that at least some of these odds makers would scratch their head and wonder what is going on.
At the end of five games, Texas was ahead three games to two. Let me just mention that in most major sports, there is a clock. Working the clock is just another weapon the team that is ahead may use. My wife, Carole, would go crazy when North Carolina would go into their four corner offense. But baseball has no clock. You must get the last out to win the game
In the 9th inning, with two outs, the Cardinals were down by two runs with men on first and second. David Freeze was down to his last strike. I had my finger (really thumb) on the off button of the TV. And, somehow Freeze cracked one off the right field fence scoring two runs to tie the game. Thumb removed from TV button. There was life, there was hope. Then in the top of the 10th, Texas Ranger Josh Hamilton blasted a two-run homer. The air went out of Busch Stadium.
So here we go again. The first two cardinals, Daniel Descalso and John Jay got base hits. Pitcher Kyle Lohse pinch hit and hit a sacrifice bunt to move the runners into scoring position. Then Ryan Theriot grounded out to third scoring Descalso. Texas intentionally walked Albert Pujols. No one and I mean no one should question that decision. So with two outs, again, and two strike, again, and my thumb on the TV off button, again, Lance Bergman laces a single to centerfield scoring the tying run. This was better than Friday Night Lights – and it was for real!
In the 11th inning, after Texas failed to score, David Freeze hit a monster home run to the deepest part of center field. I was acting like a seven-year old. We had lived to play game seven.
Game seven was tense, but the Cardinals edge farther and farther ahead, winning the game 6-2. Chris Carpenter pitched six great innings giving up two early runs. Timely hitting by Freeze, Allen Craig and Molina was all that was needed.
Some will say that if it hadn’t rained postponing game six, then Carpenter couldn’t have pitched game seven and the Rangers would be World Champs. Anybody that talks like that doesn’t believe in destiny. I remind you of August 25th and 12 1/2 games behind. Let’s face it, the Force was with us.
There may have been teams that were better on paper than the Cardinals. But no team was better prepared than Tony LaRussa’s team. And no team had the heart, guts and nevergiveupidness. Go Redbirds!
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
Home Plate Collisions – Oh, Excuse Me
OK, I admit it, I’m prejudice. It has a lot to do with how you are raised. It has a lot to do with what your parents thought. So because of my Dad, I didn’t have much of a chance. My Dad was a catcher. My older brother was a catcher and, of course, I was a catcher. I still believe that being a catcher is one of the most important positions on the field.
So, I look at these collisions at home plate and I scratch my head. Other sports like football and hockey are making heroic efforts to protect their players against concussions. A player in a helpless position is entitled to protection. You can’t use a wide receiver who had just missed a pass as a tackling dummy. If a player takes a cheap shot, it’s 15 yards, an automatic first down and perhaps, an ejection from the game. Ejections seem to get a team’s attention. But, exploding into a catcher, that seems to be “good old fashion hard ball.”
Now I’m a reasonably smart guy and before I started this article, I decided to research the rules of baseball. I wanted to find out what it said on collisions at home plate. I studied all the rules, particulary concentrating on “interference” and “obstruction.” I couldn’t find anything that specifically addressed the crash. I found out what the rule was if the catcher pushes the batter out of the way on a squeeze play or if he grabs the bat, but nothing on the runner throwing an elbow into the catcher’s chin.
My Dad taught me how to catch and how to tag a runner out at home plate (Dad played professional baseball for a number of years). The tag out procedure works great if you have time. You catch the ball, transfer it to your right fist and if the runner trys to run you down, you step out of the way and tag him with the mitt and the fisted ball. Balls pop out of mitts, but not out of fists. Always be to the front of the plate (the ball will get to you faster).
It is obstruction if the catcher blocks the plate without the ball and is not “in the act of fielding the ball.” “In the act of fielding the ball” is not defined. I guess if the ball is on the way and the catcher is reaching out for it, he is in the act. In the 1970 All Star game, catcher Ray Fosse was standing next to home plate and Pete Rose ran him over and dislocated his shoulder. Fosse did not have the ball and didn’t seem to me to be “in the act of fielding the ball.” He also seemed defenseless. Rose clearly could have gotten into home plate without clobbering Fosse. If Fosse had hit Rose it would have been obstruction and Rose would have been awarded home plate. But, this is a swinging door that only swings in one direction.
If the catcher has the ball and has placed himself in such a position that there is no place for the runner to go, I can understand the collision. Sliding into a shin guard won’t get you there. An impact intended to jar the ball loose seems appropriate. But not a forearm to the side of the head.
Assuming there is one young future catcher out there reading this, please stay on your feet when you make the tag. You can maneuver much better from your feet and if you have to dive to make the tag, you can cover more distance from your feet. Plus, your chance of getting you leg broken is much less. I’ve looked at Giant catcher, Buster Posey, on his knees just before the collision that broke his lower left leg. If he hadn’t been on his knees, he would have been OK. I think the runner, Scott Cousins, could have slid around Posey, but under the present rules, there’s no requirement. I love to say “good old fashion hard ball.”
Did I have collisions at the plate? Of course. I weighed 150 pounds and never got hurt. Good old fashion hard ball doesn’t require you to be stupid. My favorite play is the decoy. You stand at home plate looking like there is no play at all. Hand and glove are by your sides and you look annoyed. Then, just as the ball arrives you spring into action. You snatch the ball and pop the tag on the unsuspecting runner, who never even thought of sliding.
So what do I propose? My suggestion is very limited. First, I live in fear that someone out there who knows the rules is going to shoot me down by telling me what I am proposing is already covered. If that happens, at least we will all be enlightened. I suggest that something be added to the rules to protect the catcher’s head. No shoulders or forearms to the head. That would, at least, be a start.
Requiring the catcher to show part of the plate to the runner and for the runner to go for that part of the plate would be great, but I suspect too much to ask. After all, we are talking about good old fashion hard ball.
Written be PJ Rice on www.ricequips.com
Consumer Advisory Report
You probably don’t realize it, but I have self appointed myself as your consumer advisor. I will look at products that have fortunately fallen into my hands and will report on them. Everybody would like to make a contribution to our society and this is mine.
The product I am evaluating today is Gillette Fusion ProSeries Thermal Face Scrub. I never buy that kind of stuff, so you can be sure that it came as a free sample when I bought the razor or some blades or something. I know it’s a sample because it is such a tiny tube. It’s so tiny that you can’t read the directions on the tube. But who needs directions, especially when the name of the stuff is six words long. It’s a face scrub and it deals with shaving and thermal means hot.
So I squirted a little on my hands. Part of it was solid and part of it was liquid (not good). I rubbed my hands together and it started getting hot. Strange (I wonder if a boy scout could start a fire with this stuff). Then I rubbed it on my face. Face felt warm. Good sign. I wasn’t sure whether it was supposed to take the place of the shaving soap. I tried to shave. Not a good plan. I got out a magnifying glass and the directions said to rinse it off. Then shave as normal.
OK, I rinsed it off. Then I applied my shaving soap. The thermal scrub must have still been there, because as I was applying my shaving soap, something was killing my foam! I applied twice as much shaving soap and had one-tenth of the foam. I found out you can get by with one-tenth of the foam, but it still seemed crazy.
Then I decided that maybe my problem was that I wasn’t using a Gillette shaving soap. I was using Medicated Noxema for sensitive skin in a red can. The can said, “THICK RICH LATHER.” They had never seen what a thermal face scrub could do to their thick rich lather.
I finally decided that maybe this was some ingenious plan by Gillette to ensure the use of Gillette shaving gel. I am the proud owner of one can of Gillette Fusion Hydra Gel moisturizing shaving cream with Aloe and Cocoa Butter. I don’t care for the gel, but the can was only $1.80 at the Commissary and Carole had a $2.00 coupon (We’ll never get rich, but what the hell).
So in my ever-vigilant quest for knowledge, I applied the Gillette gel after applying the thermal face scrub. I am here to report that there are no devious chemists at Gillette. Gillette’s shaving gel failed to make foam when confronted with the face scrub.
I decided to go on Google and Youtube to see if I was overlooking something by not reading the directions. I seemed to be using the product correctly. I watched a couple of guys on Youtube and they applied the thermal face scrub just like I did. Of course, I didn’t see anyone apply shaving cream after the fact. So, I am giving the product a C- because it is a foam killer.
One of the things that frosts me is when a product I am using disappears or changes its appearance so that I can’t find it. I use a Head and Shoulders shampoo. I think Head and Shoulders must have 40 different shampoos. Different names, different color containers. Sometime back, my particular shampoo went to purple writing on a white container. That was neat. All I had to do was scan through the H & S section until I found purple. I wonder if they have thought about their customers who are color blind.
The last time I looked, purple had disappeared. So I looked for the magic words. My magic H & S words are “extra volume.” I looked at all the bottles for the magic words. No luck. Fortunately, I have one more bottle stashed away, so we are not in crises mode yet. But, I do need that extra volume!
I’ve used Old Spice stick deodorant forever. It too has gone through a number of iterations. I think I was around when stick deodorant first came on the market. I was a little kid and my eccentric Aunt Marie showed up at our house with a stick deodorant. She had me and my brother unbutton our shirts and she rubbed the stick deodorant on our chests. I thought it stunk. I was eight years old and I decided that Aunt Marie wasn’t eccentric, she was crazy. She drove around in a big new Cadillac and her license plate was attached with chicken wire. She also was convinced that fluoride in the drinking water was a Communist plot. I thought it was stick deodorant.
Anyway, the last time I looked for my Old Spice High Endurance deodorant, they had changed the label. But, when I found what I thought was the right one, it said at the top of the container (I’m serious), “High Endurance. SAME STUFF! DIFFERENT LABEL.” Now there’s a company after my heart.
Written by PJ Rice on www.ricequips.com
The Judge Says – Cutting a Deal
June 12, 1981
In 1969, Uncle Sam sent me to Chicago (Northwestern University) to further my education. Not a great time for an Army major to be on a university campus. I joined up with a bunch of graduate law students to take some courses that would prepare us to defend serious criminal law cases. Our professor was Bill Martin (he was the lead prosecutor in the Richard Speck case). Sure, you remember Speck. He was the one who killed all the Filipino nurses in Chicago. The jury was out for 32 minutes before coming in with a death sentence. Anyway, for two hours credit each semester, we defended indigent (no money) clients from the Cook County jail.
One of the things I learned how to do was “deal a case” – to cop a plea, to squeal for a deal, to “plead to a lesser and walk” (you think the Army has buzz words). What I am trying to say is that I learned how to enter into an agreement with the prosecution so that my client would plead guilty to something (my clients usually were guilty of something) and receive something in return. Sometimes my client would receive a lesser sentence or, perhaps, probation.
The way it worked in the civilian world (or at least in Chicago) was that the court didn’t start until 10:00 AM, but the prosecutor would be there before nine. Defense counsels would wait their turn to see him. I would huddle with the prosecutor in a corner and I would tell him about my case and he would tell me what he had. We would look at my client’s record and see if we could work out a deal. If my client had previously been clean, I could usually work something out. Then I go back to the cage (oh, I’m very sorry – back to the holding cell) and see what my client thought. If he bought it we were golden because the judge went along with whatever the prosecutor recommended. If he didn’t the system wouldn’t work.
Boy, I’ve taken a long time to get there. What I have been getting ready to say for three long paragraphs is we do the same thing in the Army. Only, I think we do it better.
First, why do we do it? If a soldier knows he is guilty and knows the prosecutor has the goods on him, why shouldn’t he try to get something for a guilty plea? On the other hand, it costs time and sometimes big bucks to prosecute a case. If the Government can save time and money and still be assured a fair sentence for the crime, then what’s the harm?
Here are some of the safeguards the Army has built into the system. First the offer must be submitted in writing by the accused and his counsel (no hashing it out in the corner of the room). Second, it has to be approved by the general court-martial convening authority. That’s the commanding general. He will look over the offer and decide if it is fair to the Army. Then, if all agree, the military judge will look the deal over during the trial. But, he won’t just rubber stamp it. The judge will satisfy himself that the accused is only pleading guilty to what he really did. The judge will also make sure that the accused fully understands the terms of the agreement. Only then will the judge accept the agreement.
So when you read somewhere that the accused pleaded guilty for no apparent reason, the answer most likely is that he had a deal.
Written by PJ Rice on www.ricequips.com