All posts by pajarice

I Can’t Stand Consumers Union


That’s right, I can’t stand Consumers Union (CU).  Through their Consumer Reports magazine, they judge products and decide what the American public should buy.  But, what if they are wrong, or worse, what if they have a bias against a particular product?  Who sits in judgment to determine whether CU was correct?  The answer is no one!  And, believe me, they do have biases.

That is exactly what happened when they killed the Suzuki Samurai.  All they needed to do was hold a press conference and declare that the Samurai “rolls over easily” and that then sparked the sale of their next Consumer Reports issue that declared the Samurai sport utility vehicle (SUV) was “not acceptable.” 

The product liability lawyers who financially support CU love such issues.  They immediately started suing Suzuki.  The news media, who never questions CU carried the CU/Samurai story and all of the evening news channels were showing the Samurai up on two wheels.  Sales for the Samurai dropped from 81,000 in 1987 to just 5,000 two years later.

The CU report came out in 1988.  And, believe me, no investigative reporter was digging into how the testing of the Samurai was conducted.  Eight years later, when Consumer Reports, in an anniversary issue, celebrated the demise of the Samurai, George Ball, General Counsel  for American Suzuki decided to sue CU for defamation and product disparagement.  George took over in 1993 when the company was being devastated by Samurai law suits.  All the expensive pretrial discovery was done and then the cases would be settled.  George told me, “Jack, we are being raped by the plaintiff attorneys and fondled by the defense attorneys.”

George decided to fight back.  He assembled a strong defense team which would take certain selected cases to trial.  I was fortunate to be part of the team providing advice on National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) issues.  Of the four Samurai  cases Suzuki took to trial, they won three of them.  Cale Yarbough, a NASCAR champion, testified that the Samurai had excellent stability.  In fact, he had one he used on his farm.  The plaintiff lawyers moved elsewhere.  It became too expensive and time consuming to sue Suzuki.

So in 1996, after suing CU and going through discovery, Suzuki finally found out how the Samurai was tested and how CU got it up on two wheels.  CU went into the testing convinced that the Samurai would fail.  Many of the CU VIPs came out to the track to watch the Samurai fail.  The problem was it didn’t.  It reminds me of the Northern aristocrats who brought their basket lunches out to watch the North rout the South at the
first Battle of Bull Run.

CU’s two professional drivers drove the little SUV through CU’s accident avoidance course (the same course they had used to test previous SUVs).  The Samurai preformed outstandingly!  All 37 test runs were successful.  The professional test drivers gave the Samurai high scores.  The CU leadership was frustrated and allegedly comments were made about the need to tip up the Samurai.  Then a non-professional executive for CU, David Pittle, got behind the wheel.  His first nine runs went smoothly.  Then, on his 10th run, Pittle took one turn too wide and in trying to get back on course, the Samurai tipped up on two wheels.  Later watching and listening to the video tape, it was easy to hear those present cheering.  Needless to say, that was the end of the testing for the day.

The CU staff then studied how Pittle (I pronounce it, Piddle) got the Samurai up on two wheels.  They saw where he made his mistakes.  Then, taking that information, they modified the obstacle course so as to insure the Samurai would fail.  I said they gamed the test.  George Ball said they rigged the test.  Whatever you call it, it was despicable.  Then with the “modified accident avoidance course,” they ran the Samurai to its preordained tip up.  It took a number of runs to tip it up, but they got it there.  And, that was what everyone saw on the evening news.

The Center for Auto Safety, which has obvious links with CU, petitioned NHTSA to have the Samurai declared defective.  NHTSA turned them down.  NHTSA also mentioned that CU’s so called “accident avoidance maneuver” test did not have a scientific basis (we subsequently learned that in spades) and could not be linked to real world crash avoidance needs, or actual crash data.

Now you know why I have no use for Consumers Union or Consumer Reports.  I think what they did was corrupt and no one would have ever known if Suzuki hadn’t sued.  How many other Samurai cases are out there that no one knows about?  How did the law suit come out?  It went on for years.  The trial judge kept dismissing the case and the Federal Appeals Court (in California, no less) would reverse and reinstate the case for trial.  It eventually settled.  I am not privy to the terms of the settlement.  If I were, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.

So because of my strong contempt for Consumers Union, life is more of a struggle.  I can’t use  Consumer Reports as a crutch when I need to buy a new toaster or ice cream maker.  I will probably survive.





Retirement, Now What? Who Cares?

I was playing golf the other day and my partner asked me, “Jack, now that you are retired, how are you occupying your time?”  It took me too long to respond.  I finally mentioned golf and my blog.  But, any of you who keep track of my blog know that I haven’t been spending a hell of a lot of time on it.  So, I decided to give some serious thought to this weighty issue.

I decided I feel pretty busy, but I know I’m not.  I’m just letting the meager tasks I have fill up my time.  Can you imagine how little pressure I feel?  It’s great!  Am I capable of doing more?  You bet.  But, deep down inside, I would resent having to shift gears.

I read a lot.  Once in a while, I read a worthy book, like Collin Powell’s “My American Journey”, or “1776” by David McCullough.  But, not very often.  I would rather read about Western heroes taking on incredible odds, like Louis L’Amour Sacketts, or Detectives like Michael Connelly’s Harry Bosch catching the bad guys at great risk to life and limb.  Oh, and I want a happy ending – none of this Message in a Bottle crap where the hero dies in the end.  If I want heartache and sorrow, I’ll pick up the newspaper.  I read terribly slow, so reading is a commitment and my effort deserves a happy ending.

I study and play chess.  I have some great books on chess openings and even some kind of an on-line study program.  I am the proud owner of three computer chess games.  Each one is more sophisticated than the previously purchased one.  There lies the rub.  I hate to lose.  One chess computer I can beat almost all the time.  One I can beat about half the time, and my most sophisticated chess computer beats me like a rug (even at its lowest level).  It is also impossible to play head games with a computer.  But, it plays head games with me.  I take 3-5 minutes to make my move and bam!  It answers in two seconds.  Why couldn’t they have sent me one with a defective knight?

I am careful  about playing chess.  I think chess can be a sickness like drugs or alcohol and you can end up doing nothing but playing chess and dribbling out of the corner of your mouth.  Bobby Fischer is one of the basket cases I can cite.  So, I play intensely for a couple of weeks and then I step away (probably because I have lost two or three in a row).  I hate losing

Have you noticed a theme?  Never lose, happy endings.  It is something to strive for.  How about never getting sick?  That’s too much to ask for.

Being retired also provides us with the time we need to take care of our medical problems.  It takes me a certain amount of time just to organize my pills for the week.  Then, if I could just remember to take them.

The only special project I have taken on is fighting to keep 36 holes of golf at Fort Belvoir.  Some three-bags-full bureaucrat decided 27 holes were enough.  As you might know, the Army is going to position the Army Museum on the front nine of our Gunston course.  I devoted a number of hours to shooting down the Army’s first draft environmental assessment.  We are about due for the revised draft EA.  I’ll get another shot at this one, but I’ve already written about this before (The Army is Gobbling Up Golf Courses at Fort Belvoir), so I’ll pass on.

The bottom line is that if tomorrow someone asks me how I am occupying my time in retirement, I will probably pause too long in responding.  But, I won’t be concerned.  I’m having too much fun.

Dreams and Schemes


I seem to be dreaming more.  Maybe it is because I am sleeping more.  The retired life doesn’t require as many 0-dark-30 mornings.

My dreams are really stupid, but at least they aren’t scary anymore.  I think we have all had that dream where someone or something was after us AND we could not move.  You want to run, but you can’t.  Usually, when you wake up, you find that your legs are so tangled in the sheet that you can’t move.  On one occasion, I kicked off all my covers defending myself.  My bunk mate is still nimble enough to avoid my arms and legs when the war is on.

I think my favorite dream is when I can fly.  I just lean in a certain direction and up I go.  I don’t accomplish squat, but it’s pretty cool.  My dreams are so short and choppy that I can’t remember much about my flights.  Don’t know where or when.  I am always disappointed when I wake up and find myself grounded.

I spend a lot of time in my dreams losing things.  I can’t find my car or my golf clubs or suitcases.  I go back to where  they were and they’re not there.  On the way, I bump into old friends who are no help in finding my stuff.  I also spend a lot of time trying to find my room in hotels.  It’s like a Harry Potter movie where all the stairs shift.  For some reason I always think I know where I am going, but I never get there.  Hotel elevators take me strange places, but never to the floor where my room is supposed to be located.

The good news is that when things really go South, I tell myself, “this has got to be a dream.”  Yes, I do!  And, I wake up.  Isn’t that neat?  When your house is about to be consumed by flames and the fireman says, “You have to leave now.”  And, I say, “I think I’ll just wake up.

I don’t think I have ever had a dream worth evaluating.  There was the one where our President told us that under his health care program we would all live to be 150 years old and never be sick a day.  Maybe that is why it will cost less.

I’m trying to think if I was ever on a plane in one of my dreams.  I really don’t think so.  But, who needs a plane when you can fly?

Write Your Local Representative


Yes, I did.  I wrote my Congressman.  This health care legislation should have everyone expressing their view.  The idea of pushing through some massive program which no one completely understands or knows what will be the effect in five years is sheer folly. 

I really don’t expect my Congressman to even read my letter, but I feel better about sending it.  My correspondence will probably be a check in a box somewhere.  But, who knows?   I put it down below.  I tried to be on point and not too angry.  I was mostly successful.  You can decide for yourself.

Dear Congressman Connolly,

I received your recent correspondence encouraging us to contact you if we needed help in dealing with the Government bureaucracy.  I appreciate your interest.

My problem is with what is happening  in Congress regarding health care.  At the present time, I am retired military and over 65.  So my wife and I received Medicare and Tri-Care for Life.  I personally believe that these medical benefits came as a promise from my country for serving for 28 years.  I am convinced that any new health care legislation will reduce our benefits.  I’ve seen draft language where we would be required to make co-payments for our Tri-Care.  This goes back on the promise to the military. 

I don’t accept promises from President Obama on health benefits.  His promise that the military won’t be touched rings hollow.  He promised no more “pork” in legislation.  Now, he acts like he never said it.  His administration was not going to include lobbyists.  That also went by the wayside.  “No more business as usual.”  You see why when he promises Tri-Care won’t be touched, I cringe.  

President Obama has me very disturbed.  His plan to take from the rich and give to the poor is ridiculous for a number of reasons.  First, Robin Hood was fiction.  Not bad fiction, but fiction.  Secondly, there is no way the Government can take enough from the rich to pay for all the poor in the health care arena.  I am convinced this is marching towards Socialism.

President Obama says there are 50,000,000 in our country without health care insurance.  I suspect a not insignificant number of them are illegal aliens.  I don’t want to pay for the health care of people who snuck into this country.  He says we can add these 50,000,000 to our health care rolls and do it more economically.  “We will be more efficient.”  That is such an old and hackneyed expression.  Please don’t support the President on health care legislation that will end up taking money from one group and giving to another, with the Government deciding issues that should be between the doctor and the patient.

Any legislation as significant as universal health care should be bipartisan.  Start with small steps, not with something that is so large, no one can understand the repercussions until it is too late.  I would be interested in knowing where you stand.  Please don’t be a minion for the Speaker.  It is not in the best interest of your constituents nor yourself.

Very truly yours, 

Yo Prez – Calibrate This


Somewhere in my youth, I was told that it takes a big man to admit he is wrong.  So I bought into that.  Some days, I would get bigger and bigger as the day progressed.

So, why can’t the President admit when he is wrong or does something stupid?  Why can’t he just admit he goofed when he bowed to the king of Saudi Arabia?  To have his people come out and say he didn’t bow makes them all look stupid and untrustworthy.  Anyone who saw the pictures or video knows he bowed.  Hey, its a goof, but it’s not a big deal.  Lying is a big deal.

The bowing incident reminds me of the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale, “The Emperor’s New Clothes.”  Does Obama really believe he didn’t bow?  Does he believe anyone believes him?  I think he is just too arrogant to admit his mistakes.

Then, he screws up by pronouncing that the Boston police acted stupidly.  He prefaced his comment by saying he didn’t have the facts.  He should have stopped right there.  Then he wouldn’t have acted stupidly.  Then, he was surprised that it became a big deal.  He stated that he could have calibrated his words differently.  What does that mean?  Acted foolishly, sillily, unwisely, injudiciously, imprudently, witlessly?  What calibration are we talking about?

The big loser is probably Professor Gates, who, after the beer fest, saw his racial profiling best-seller book go up in smoke.

I can’t wait for the next Presidential press conference.  I am very interested in what President Obama thinks about the Cleveland Indians trading away their star Catcher, Victor Martinez, the day before the Indians were to celebrate Victor Martinez Bobblehead Night at Progressive Field.  I sure hope he can get this one properly calibrated.

You Can’t Get There from Here (almost)


For our 50th Wedding Anniversary, we were taking our kids and grandkids on an Alaskan cruise.  We had been planning the event for over a year.  Coaxing, encouraging and mildly threatening all to attend.  Talk about herding cats.  When children are grown and have their own families, interests and obligations spiral in many directions.  That’s why we started early, coaxing, prodding and even playing the guilt card.

Well, it worked, and with a couple of months to go, everyone had made their plans and had their passports.  Becky and Eddie and the two grown kids were driving from Prescott Valley, Arizona to Vancouver.  Paul and Sandy and their two kids were flying in two days early from Roanoke, Virginia, to see a little of Vancouver.  Missy and Terry and their two kids were flying in the day before the cruise from Jacksonville, Florida.  We were also flying in the day before from Springfield, Virginia.  It turned out that we were scheduled to be on the same plane with Missy and her family from Chicago to Vancouver.

One of the basic rules of flying is avoid Chicago during the summer.  Well, Carole and I eventually did.

Our United flight was to depart from Reagan National at 9:30 AM to Chicago.  Our philosophy is we would rather get to the airport early and wait, than have something go wrong.  Our neighbor, Jim Vancini, graciously gave us a ride to the airport.  We arrived at 7:15 AM and checked in.  We had used frequent flyer miles to upgrade.  We were informed at the counter that we were flying Ted, not United, to Chicago and there were no first class seats on Ted.  Our first class seats from Chicago to Vancouver had also disappeared.  Then the plane was delayed until 10:24 AM.  As we only had one hour to make our connection in Chicago, it looked like we would miss it.

I am usually an optimist  and I figured if our flight was late, maybe the flight to Vancouver would also be delayed.  Missy and family (minus one), who had arrived in Chicago, confirmed that the Vancouver flight had been pushed back.  Tyler, Missy’s son, had a last minute mandatory university obligation, which dropped him from the trip. 

After we were on board and in the queue to take off, the captain came on the intercom and told us they had “weather” in Chicago and we had been put on “hold.”  We sat for 30 minutes and then the captain came on again and advised that they had shut down the Chicago tower because of a possible tornado.  What a helpless feeling.  We couldn’t get back to our gate because it was occupied by another plane.  So, we sat.

A little before noon, we taxied back to the gate.  I had spoken to a flight attendant about our 50th wedding anniversary cruise and they were concerned.  One of them said they would talk to an agent about a flight from Dulles to Seattle which might help us.  When the plane got back to the gate, a very helpful manager hooked us up with an agent.  The Seattle flight had already departed.  BUT, Air Canada (an affiliate of United) had a flight to Toronto where we could connect to Vancouver.  While it took an hour and a half, the crew actually got our luggage off of the Chicago flight.  The flight to Toronto  departed at 5:45 PM, so, again, we had plenty of time.

We picked up our luggage, checked in with Air Canada, had a leisurely lunch and went back through security.  We were getting good at many of these tasks.  We could see the light at the end of the tunnel.   And, from then on, everything went relatively well.  In Toronto, we sat on the plane for over an hour waiting for connecting passengers and then the push-back vehicle wouldn’t work.  I had visions of something getting broken.  But by 9:30 PM, Carole and I were in the air, destination Vancouver.

Missy, Terry and Kristin had not been so fortunate.  Our last call from Missy told us that all flights out of Chicago had been canceled.  They had been booked on an early flight the next day to Denver with a connecting flight  to Vancouver.  The next morning when they got to the airport, they found out the Denver flight had been delayed so that they could not make the Denver to Vancouver flight.  Did I earlier mention helpless feelings.  It is a helpless feeling when you can’t get from here to there.

Terry went up and talked to a United agent about their plight and the next thing he was frantically waiving to Missy and Kristin.  It turned out that because of all the canceled flights the day before, United had put on an additional flight from Chicago direct to Vancouver!  They were seated in the first class section and away they went.  Of course, their luggage was still waiting for the Denver flight.  But, we all made the ship.  Missy’s last suitcase showed up two days later when we docked in Icy Straits, Alaska.

The anniversary cruise was everything we planned for and expected.  There were only two mandatory formations, the life boat drill and the family photo session.  That will be this years Christmas card – no not the life boat drill.

Fifty Years Together


Carole and I celebrated our 50th Wedding Anniversary on the 6th of June.  It always reminds me of the old guy who just completed 50 years of marriage and was asked how he felt about it.  He said, “Well, it’s been OK, but I wouldn’t want to do it for another 50 years.”

Love is different after 50 years than it was after two years.  Brad Paisley has a number one country hit out right now and it is entitled, “Then.”  The lines that struck me are as follows: “Now you’re my whole life, Now you’re my whole world, I just can’t believe the way I feel about you girl.  We’ll look back some day at this moment that we’re in, And I’ll look at you and say, And I thought I loved you then.”


 


               Fifty Years Together

To Carole, my Carole, my very special potion,
I give you my love and all my devotion.
For fifty years we’ve traveled the journey,
Together through law school, then as an attorney        

Twenty-eight years in the Army, some happy, some sad,
We struggled with Fat Charlie, now that was bad.
Two tours in Germany, a separation in Nam.
But, excitement a plenty, all we could cram.

A child in law school, a child at Fort Hood,
A child in Germany, a surprise, but good.
We raised our children from post to post,
They’ve made us proud, of that we boast.

We’ve been partners together when decisions were made,
Like our career in the Army, we carefully weighed.
Some were traumatic, not made with glee,
Like the wrenching decision to come back to D.C.

You’re still the queen I love to embrace,
With your beautiful hair and lovely face.
With your soft skin and complexion so fair,
A delight to look at, someone so rare.

Life’s not always rosy, there are times when we fought,
Over things that I’ve done, and things that you’ve bought.
I’m writing this poem to express my devotion,
To the love of my life, with your constant commotion.
But, we’re always a pair, a perfect blend,
You’re my partner, my love and my very best friend.

RAJA in the Big Easy


Life is good.  Over the Memorial Day holiday a large number of retired Army JAGs descended on New Orleans for our annual RAJA meeting.  We assembled at the Hotel Monteleone right smack in the French Quarter.

Expensive?  Not really and remember, we all have Army retirement checks and most of us are on Social Security.  Plus, we got our Social Security stimulus checks.  So, we stimulated the New Orleans’ economy.

Dennis and Jeanne Hunt hosted RAJA (Retired Army Judge Advocate Association – maybe it should be RAJAA – not the kind of issue you want to raise in an organization consisting only of lawyers).  I was planning on saying that Dennis and Jeanne’s planning and execution were as efficient as Mussolini’s on-time trains.  But, then I looked it up on Snopes.com and the Mussolini bit is a myth.  Man, I think I was happier before Snopes.  Anyway, Dennis and Jeanne did a fantastic job!

On the first full day, we toured New Orleans.  Of course, if you are going to tour the Big Easy, you have to visit one of their cemeteries.  As you probably know, because of the water level, all of the caskets are placed in above-ground tombs.  Our tour guide explained the process of removing old remains to make room for the new deceased member of the family.  I think you have to live your whole life in New Orleans to go along with that process.  After hearing of the process, all I could think of was the Church Lady on Saturday Night Live saying, “Isn’t that special.”

Our tour guide told us that we were at the cemetery (St. Louis Cemetery # 1) that was damaged and desecrated during the filming of the movie, Easy Rider.  I don’t remember the cemetery scene.  I only remember that the movie had a happy ending.  There were no complaints from residents of the cemeteries about Katrina.  But, some of those same residents are still receiving relief checks.

The bus trip took all day and we never left the city.  But, I had no idea where I was.  The tour guide would say, “The river is on our left.”  “Now, the river is on our right.”  “The lake is behind you.”  “This area was all under water.”  Duh, big help.

It has been almost four years since Katrina and the parts of the city we looked at showed great signs of recovery.  But, who knows what we didn’t see.  The amount of human suffering that went on during the storm and its aftermath is impossible to quantify.  Let’s hope that the lesson we took away from Katrina will insure it doesn’t happen again (Not the natural disaster, but the way we handled it).

RAJA was a great success.  Tim Naccarato is the third leader of this august body.  John Jay Douglass was the president for the first twenty plus years.  He and Bruce Babbitt ran the financials for the organization on the back of an envelope.  Now that takes skill.  Anyway, in 1994, while in Reno, Nevada the organization rolled the dice and selected a board of directors to carry the group forward.  Jim Mundt was selected to take John Jay’s place and RAJA moved forward. 

Then, in 2005, Tim took the reins.  One of the first things he did was do away with the cumbersome site selection committee.  Tim now twists arms until someone agrees to host a future meeting.  This is much more effective that the site selection committee.  Because everyone knows what he is up to, a lot of his emails are never answered.  But, he has lined up Steve and Pauline Lancaster to host next year in Indianapolis, and Dave and Lynn Graham and Fred and Janet Borch to host 2011 in Charlottesville, the Home of the Army Lawyer.  In a weak moment Tim convinced Mike Marchand to host 2012 in Dallas.  Please keep the latter confidential, because Mike hasn’t told his wife, Jan, yet.

Well,  RAJA survived New Orleans, and New Orleans survived RAJA.  No surprises there.  Sadly, the only lesson I took away from the meeting is that I don’t want to be buried in New Orleans.  Because it is a given that sometime in the future, someone is going to break into your casket, gather your bones and pitch them to make room for a new visitor.  Yuk.

Fort Belvior is Gobbling Up Golf Courses


When I was a little kid, I learned that if I broke something that belonged to another kid, I had to pay for it or replace it.  That’s just fair.  Fairness is a good standard by which to live your life.  I have really tried to do so.  Of course, what I think is fair, someone else may not.  It can be subjective.  So you be my objective voice and let me know what you think about the following.

The Army seems to be gobbling up the golf courses at Fort Belvoir and not replacing them or providing restitution.  I don’t think that is fair.  Fort Belvoir had a delightful nine hole course on the South Post.  It was pretty flat and open and not too long.  It was ideal for young soldiers learning how to play and elderly people who wanted to walk the course and get some exercise.  Then the Army decided it needed a newer, larger hospital and began to build on the South Nine.  The South Nine Golf Course disappeared.

Now, you might say, “Hey, the Army can do what it wants with its property.”  But all Army property is not the same.  The South Nine Golf Course was a nonappropriated fund (NAF) property.  When I was an instructor at The JAG School in Charlottesville, Virginia, back in the early 70’s, I taught a one-hour course called Nonappropriated Funds.  It was really deadly.  It may have been the deadliest course at the School.  But, the students needed to know that all funds were not appropriated by Congress.  The Post Exchange and other programs generated money for the benefit of the troops.  That money was nonappropriated funds and the Army was to use the funds for the morale, welfare and recreation of the troops and their dependents.  I would tell the students, who were still awake, that the Army held the nonappropriated funds in trust for the morale and welfare of soldiers and their dependents.  They can’t take it away or give it away without restitution.

Not too long ago, there was a Corps of Engineer project that, in effect, would wipe out a soccer field at Fort Belvoir.  So before the field was destroyed, the Post make arrangements to build another soccer field to replace the one that was being destroyed.  Now, that’s how I believe the system should work.  The soccer field was a nonappropriated fund property (morale, welfare and recreation – MWR) and the Army met its obligation as trustee of the MWR funds by making restitution in kind.  However, it didn’t work that way with the South Nine Golf Course.  The only distinction between the two situations is that they had soccer moms!

Now, the Army has its sights set on building the National Museum of the United States Army (NMUSA) on the front nine of the Gunston Golf Course on the North Post at Fort Belvoir.  Fort Belvoir has two adjoining golf courses on the North Post, Gunston and Woodlawn.  Both are championship length courses.  I don’t want to get into site selection.  Obviously, I didn’t want them putting the museum on my golf course.  But, well-meaning officials decided to put it there.  But, what about restitution?  What about holding in trust morale, welfare and recreation property (paid for with nonappropriated funds) for soldiers and their dependents?  Some not-so-well-meaning officials decided that Fort Belvoir only needed 27 holes.

Two years ago, we had 45 holes.  Now, they are talking about 27 holes.  I can just hear the conversation.  The commander asks, “Can they get by with 27 holes?”  And, the staff says, “Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.”  What about holding NAF property in trust?  What about restitution?  Where are their heads?   I know I keep repeating myself.  I can’t help it.  I keep frothing at the mouth and by the time I get myself cleaned up, I just start over again.  Fairness, restitution, fairness.  I’ll be back in a minute.

The money for the museum is supposed to come mostly from donations.  It ain’t happening.  In 2007, they had contributions of over five million dollars, but they had expenses of over three million.  They aren’t going to get to $200 million that way.  I donated early on, so I have received a lot of their subsequent solicitations.  In my opinion, the solicitations are too expensive and slick.  The last time I observed such slick solicitations was the Ollie North campaign for senator.

Please understand that I am all in favor of an Army museum.  If it has to be on the Gunston front nine, so be it (the latest drawings have them encroaching on holes 11 and 12 on the back nine for a parking lot).  But, please rework the Gunston Course along with the museum.  That is only fair and it will keep the Army from looking like a negligent fiduciary (or worse).

There was an Army funded feasibility study completed in November 2008 regarding whether 27 holes would be sufficient.  In all fairness, this should have been done before the “three bags full” decision.  The study concluded that the course, reduced to 27 holes could lose over a quarter of a million dollars a year.  So I think we are going to end up with approval for 36 holes, but no money to build them.  The money should come from the Army.  The Army is holding the Gunston Course in trust (here I go again).  The Army needs to make restitution.

Here is the scenario I see.  The Army breaks ground on construction on time.  They have already been drilling for core samples on the front nine, even though the environmental assessment hasn’t been approved to select the location.  And, of course, the environmental assessment will have alternate selection sites as it is required, even though the Army has pushed ahead and selected the Gunston site.  Is that legal?   I used to teach Environmental Law, but it was too may moons ago.  I see them tearing up the course and then, not having the money to build the museum.

I’m not the only one who thinks there won’t be enough donations.  The AUSA (Association of the United States Army), a private organization focused on the best interests of the Army, has just submitted a legislative resolution to Congress.  It requests Congress to “provide funding for the facility at Fort Belvoir, Virginia to house the National Museum of the United States Army.”

If Congress funds the museum, I hope there is some extra in there to make the Gunston Course whole.  The restitution I am talking about should be part of the over all museum project.  That is the only fair solution.

The Case of the Missing Check


I’ve mentioned before about my year at Northwestern University School of Law.  I mentioned that I earned an LL.M. in Criminal Law, but I never mentioned what I had to do to get the degree.  I had to earn 12 hours and write a thesis.  Six of those hours (and 90% of my time) came from carrying a case load down at the Cook County Jail.

There were about nine of us in the graduate program and we were assigned to represent “clients” at the jail.  We were like public defenders, but with a very limited case load.  My observation of the public defenders was that they had so many clients that many of them couldn’t represent any of their clients very well.

Bill Martin was our program leader.  No, he never managed the Yankees.  But, what he did do was prosecute Richard Speck for raping and murdering eight Filipino student nurses in Chicago.  The police found Speck’s finger print on the inside of a closet door from the nurses’ apartment.  Bill introduced the entire door into evidence.  Talk about demonstrative evidence.  It took the jury 49 minutes to find Speck guilty and recommend his execution.  Anyway, by 1969, Bill Martin had left the State’s Attorneys Office and was teaching at Northernwestern Law.  The Ford Foundation was funding the graduate criminal defense program to which I was attached.

Probably the most significant case we defended during the year involved a felony murder charge.  A black man came into a jewelry store and attempted to cash a Park Department pay check.  He ended up robbing the store and killing the owner.  Our client, Eugene Overstreet, worked for the Park Department and his name was on the check (the check was gratuitously left behind at the scene of the crime).  Overstreet insisted he never received the check.  The wife of the dead owner identified Overstreet in a police lineup as the robber/murderer.

Bill Martin actually took the lead in defending Overstreet, but a number of us in the program worked different angles of the case.  One of my tasks was to try to find out what happened to the check.  If the prosecution could put the check in Overstreet’s hands, we could fold our tent and slip silently into the night.

How does one get a city job with the Park Department?  Keep in mind that this is Chicago.  The answer is you go see your Ward Committeeman.  Overstreet knew a committeeman and was able to get the Park Department job.  The problem was that he didn’t live in the committeeman’s ward.  Let’s face it, if the system is going to work, you have to live in the ward where you are being sponsored.  In order to help Overstreet out and stay within the “rules,” the committeeman let Overstreet use his street address on the job application.  Now, Overstreet “lived” in the right ward.

As fate would have it, Overstreet copied the street address incorrectly.  The address he put down was to a vacant lot.  Overstreet didn’t know this, but it was not a problem because, on payday, he would pick up the check at the Park Department Office.

Regarding the check in question, Overstreet was somewhere else on pay day.  When he came in the next day to pick up his check, he was told it already had been mailed.  When he checked with the committeeman, he was advised that he hadn’t received the check.  We could verify all of the above facts.  We also discovered the error in the mailing address.

Bill Martin asked me and Ty Fahner to track the route of the check.  Ty subsequently became the Attorney General for the State of Illinois and is presently a partner with Mayer Brown.  We suspected that if someone at the Post Office knew that the Park Department check was going to a vacant lot, they might just put it in their pocket.  Chicago’s main post office was, at the time, one of the largest post offices in the world.  It was a monster.  With the help of a postal official, we started at the end of the building where the mail came in and followed the route the letter/check would have taken through the building.  I should have worn gym shoes.

Even back in the late sixties, the post office had sophisticated equipment to send letters on their way.  A letter would be picked up by an automated arm and the operator would type in the zip code.  Then the arm would place the letter on a conveyor belt and away it would go.  Somewhere down the line, it would end up in the proper basket.  The final sorting, however, was done just like Ben Franklin did it when he was the Postmaster for Philadelphia in 1763.  Someone stood in front of a bunch of cubby holes and flipped in the mail.  We learned that the individuals assigned to sort mail for a particular area did not live in that area.  Thus, they would not know of a vacant lot.

Of course, the mailman would know.  When we spoke to him, he was convincing that he had received no mail to deliver to the vacant lot.  So we never could prove who took the letter, but with the help of the testimony of two post office officials we were able to satisfy the court that Overstreet never received the check.

Bill Martin convinced Overstreet to be tried by judge alone (no jury).  Since it was the check that put Overstreet at the scene of the crime, the case disassembled.  The eye witness testimony proved not to be a problem.  After the judge acquitted Overstreet, he told Bill that if he ever got in trouble, he hoped he could afford Bill’s representation.  Hey, what about the gang of nine?