I didn’t go to Vietnam until late in the war. Oh, that’s right, it wasn’t a war, it was a conflict. The military didn’t have jurisdiction over accompanying civilians because it wasn’t a war. I’ll say this, it was a hell of a conflict.
I almost went to Vietnam in 1965. I was assigned to III Corps and Fort Hood, Texas. A secret message came down to Fort Hood directing that a corps headquarters be constituted and sent to Vietnam. I had just stepped forward to go Regular Army so I figured I was a lock to go. As it turned out, I was on orders to go to the Language School in Monterey, California. That secret message directed Fort Hood not to take anybody who was on orders for a school. So my JAG friends left without me. The Corps SJA, Colonel Joe Sullivan, was part of the corps headquarters arriving in Vietnam. As Colonel Sullivan got off the plane, he was advised that they had not requested a JAG full colonel. That’s the Army we know and love. After wandering around for 60 days without a job, Colonel Sullivan convinced the powers that be that he was a fifth wheel at the headquarters and was shipped back to Fort Hood.
I ended up going to the language school (studying German) and then having a three-year assignment in Germany; and, also, spending a year at Northwestern University before I was shipped to Vietnam. I know it doesn’t sound like the Army we know and love to actually have someone study German and then be assigned to Germany. The Army we know and love made up for it by sending me to Northwestern to get a Masters Degree in criminal law and then, never giving me another criminal law assignment.
I finally arrived in Vietnam in July 1970. I spent my birthday at the 90th Replacement Battalion. Their singular goal was to make life so miserable for new arrivals that they would jump at the chance to join their new units. They were very good at their job. They had a detachment that cut wood all night long using ban saws. What seemed strange to me is that the saws were silent during the daytime. By the end of three days, I was delighted to climb on a chopper and join the 1st Cav SJA Office at Phouc Vihn.
I think Phuoc Vihn was about 40 to 50 miles north of Saigon. We called our outer permitter the “Green Line.” It was three and a half miles long. Inside the wire was the provincial capitol, a large air field and the Cav headquarters. Sometime prior to my arrival, Viet Cong snuck onto our base and did some damage. We remedied this by leveling everything outside the wire for a quarter of a mile and erecting ball park lights all along the Green Line (pointing out). No more sneak attacks.
The VC had no problem finding us and would fire a rocket or a few mortars or RPGs at us each night. We eventually caught the sneaky group and took out our vengeance. The JAG Office and our quarters (hooches) were not in danger. We were located quite a distance from the air field, headquarters and provincial capitol. In fact, we were located down close to the Green Line, surrounded by defoliated rubber trees. Periodically, during a storm, a rubber tree would fall over. But, they weren’t very big and no one was hurt.
About six or seven months into my tour, we were instructed to do a “Spring Cleaning” around our area. Being the Deputy SJA, I was tagged to run the clean up. I had about 12 captains and about 15 enlisted men. But, the area we had covered about five acres. Our office, the courtroom and our hooches were in pretty good shape, but we had a large wooded area that was a complete mess. We had been instructed to clean out undergrowth. In the wooded area, the undergrowth was everywhere.
Then it came to me. We could burn the wooded area and be done in no time. I walked around it to make sure the fire would not spread. Between the roads and fields, we seemed to have natural boundaries to retain the fire. I checked the wind to ensure it would burn in the direction we planned. I was really proud of my idea.
We started three or four fires on one edge and the fire took off. It burned much more rapidly than I thought. The next thing I remember is it appeared the fire was totally out of control. And the noise. The roar of the fire was deafening. I could see branches on fire flying higher and higher, taking on a life of their own. I was scared to death. I saw my military career slipping through my fingers. I had been a prosecutor and a defense counsel in trials. Now, I feared I would be an accused. I would be charged with unmitigated stupidity!
After what seemed like hours, but was probably thirty minutes, things started to settle down. The deafening roar was gone. I began regular breathing again. The self-generated crises had passed. To this day, I have always wondered why no one outside of our JAG office reacted to the fire. We didn’t see the fire marshal or an MP or a concerned operations guy. No one.
By the evening, everything had returned to normal, whatever that means in Vietnam. And, I guess I missed my 15 minutes of fame.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
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Thanks Bubba – You Da Man!
My golf game has improved. It is not my imagination. The numbers don’t lie. And, I owe it all to Bubba. That’s right, Bubba Watson is my hero.
First of all, there is something about the name Bubba. Only in America. The name conjures up images for all of us. Years back, when I heard there was a golfer on the pro circuit named Bubba, I was amused. I guess that tells you what type of image it conjured up for me. I wondered if when he bent over to address the ball, his butt crack showed. He had to be somehow related to John Daly. After all, like Daly, he does have his own line of clothes (“Bubba Golf” -what else?).
I couldn’t wait to see what Bubba looked like. I couldn’t wait to see him play. Then, I saw he was swinging from the wrong side. But how can you not pull for a guy named Bubba. It also turned out that he was a nice guy. Bubba “Nice Guy” Watson. And, can he hit the ball! His longest drive on the PGA tour was 416 yards. I can’t hit the ball that far after I have hit it twice. Bubba is leading the pro circuit with a driving average over 305 yards. He generates a ball speed of 194 miles per hour. Bubba is faster that a speeding bullet and more powerful than a locomotive. That’s right, Bubba is Superman!
And, he didn’t just win the Masters; it was the way he won it. Bubba is a magician with his clubs. He probably has a boomerang shot where the ball comes back to him. This saves on retrieving practice balls. Anyway, as many of you know, he executed one of his impossible shots to win the Masters. Deep in the woods on the second playoff hole, from 164 yards away, he put 40 yards of hook on his 52 degree gap wedge shot to put the ball on to the green. The rest was history.
So, how has Bubba helped my game. He hits left handed, I hit right. He drives over 300 yards. I’m happy when I get it out there 175 yards. He’s 6′ 3″, I’m 5′ 7″. I had been serving as a Army JAG officer for 16 years before Bubba was born. But, when I am going through my pre-shot routine, the last thing I say to myself is, “What would Bubba do with this shot?” That thought is so ridiculous that it causes me to smile and relax. When I smile and relax, the tension disappears. Without the tension the swing is smoother and just better. The ball has a greater chance of going where I intended it to go (and it also goes farther).
Thanks Bubba.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
Frank, Frank Who?
Coach Frank Haith of the University of Missouri was selected by the Associated Press as the 2011-12 college basketball Coach of the Year. Even though I thought he deserved it, I was totally surprised. Why? Because he wasn’t even selected as the Big 12 Coach of the Year.
I don’t know who selected the Big 12 Coach of the Year, but whoever it was, they had a tie between Coach Self from KU and Coach Hoiberg from Iowa State. I suspect Coach Haith ranked fairly high among those schools who were leaving the Big 12 to join other conferences. Would I accuse the Big 12 of considering that fact in making their decision? If I denied it, it would sound as hokey as the selection of Hoiberg and Self. So you can certainly see why I was surprised that some coach who wasn’t good enough to be the Big 12 Coach of the Year would be the AP Coach of the Year for the entire nation.
Now, I’m not happy that MIZZOU is leaving the Big 12. After Nebraska left, I thought we had a pretty decent bunch of schools. But, it is all about money and I, quite frankly, am clueless. I have heard that Texas and Oklahoma were getting the lion share of the TV revenue and that is why Nebraska, Colorado and now, Texas A&M and MIZZOU have departed. If someone knows the truth of the matter, I would love to hear from them.
I wasn’t real excited when Frank Haith was selected to be the basketball coach. He came from Miami where in seven years he had a record of 43 & 69 in conference play. Miami was being looked at by the NCAA. I think Miami (“The U”) is always being looked at for NCAA violations. I think the NCAA has a desk devoted to the University of Miami (“The U Desk”). Anyway, who was this Frank and how would he fit in? Well, with only seven scholarship players and only one starter over 6’6″, the team went 30 and 5 and was ranked third in the nation at the end of the regular season.
I think we’ll keep Frank.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
Bracketoology – Is It an Art or a Science?
March Madness! You bet. What a great time for college basketball. And each year, the TV coverage gets better. This year, every game was on TV. Even in earlier years when the games were only on CBS, they made sure they would switch over and catch the exciting ending of every game. My son, Paul, even schedules his vacation days so he catches every minute of the fantastic first week. So what went wrong for me? I hope you have a few minutes.
First, I generally don’t get into a pool. I hate losing. About the only exciting thing for me is filling out the brackets. After that, everything goes down hill. My main frustration is that I am terribly conflicted. It is my general rule that if I don’t have a dog in the fight, I pull for the underdog (My dog/dog rule). However, when I filled out my brackets, I usually picked the favorite to win. So there I am cheering against myself. This has nothing to do with the glass being half empty. It’s a zero sum game and if I win, I lose.
But this year, a friend of mine was running a sophisticated pool and I did have a dog in the fight. So I went against my better judgement and jumped into the pool. Splash. I even recorded a couple hours of ESPN bracketing. I’ll never do that again. I got more out of the commercials. Would it surprise you that Digger Phelps likes Notre Dame’s chances? Dick Vitale liked everybody, baby. Geez.
VCU was one of my underdog favorites. I liked their coach and they did well last year. But, in doing my “research,” I discovered that a lot of “experts” liked Wichita State to go deep. Wichita State was a five seed and VCU was a 12. I had never seen Wichita State play, but all the buzz got me excited. So I scratched out VCU (who, of course, won) and went with Wichita State to not only beat VCU, but also Indiana. If I picked stock the same way I picked my brackets, I’d be broke. In fact, during the dot.com era, that’s how I did pick my stocks and I lost my shirt. Some of the stocks I invested in can now only be found in time capsules.
Of course, my alma mater, MIZZOU, was a two seed and picked to go far in the tournament. I have previously written about what a great team they are and what fun the are to watch (see Fun Ball – MIZZOU B-ball). They lost in the first round to Norfolk State. State could do no wrong and we just couldn’t find that spark. That was my personal disaster and dropped a shroud over the entire tournament. I looked at Kansas and said to myself, “We beat them.” I looked at Baylor playing in the Elite Eight and said, “We beat them THREE times.” It would have been so much fun to see how MIZZOU would have done against a Michigan State or a Louisville. But it was not to be. It is easier to say, “Get over it,” than to do it.
My friend, Chet, who is running the bracket pool is so prolific. He sends out a report after every day’s play. Charts, lists, diagrams, he does it all. And so almost every day, I am reminded that I didn’t know and don’t know what I am doing. Enough!
President Obama picked MIZZOU to be in the final four. Maybe that is what jinxed it. Having that guy on your side has got to be trouble. But with all the help he got, I suspect he did better than I did. In fact, I did so poorly in my predictions that a number of high level Republicans have approached me and requested that I predict that Obama will be re-elected.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
The Judge Says – Military Jurisdiction and Child Abuse
February 16, 1981
There comes a time in every soldier’s assignment where he can no longer say, “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I haven’t been here very long.” I usually try to use that excuse for the better part of a year. But, as to this assignment, the excuse is long gone.
Shortly after I arrived here, certain concerned parents brought a very serious problem to my attention. The problem was child abuse and the inability on Fort Riley to remove a battered child from the home. It was believed that the state courts had no jurisdiction to act concerning matters on the post. We could remove the family from the post and then let the state wait for another incident, but that was not acceptable. The concerned parents explained to me that they expected my support, or they would have to assume that I beat my children. Their argument was not logical, but extremely persuasive. Seriously, it took some period of time before they could convince me that we even had a chance.
Eventually, we were all convinced we had a fighting chance of changing 30 years of Kansas law. We solicited the help of Steve Opat, Geary County Attorney and his assistant, David Platt (they are the ones who would be carrying the workload burden). Our sessions with them were fruitful. We then jointly posed the question to the Attorney General of Kansas, Robert T. Stephan.
In an opinion dated January 16, 1981, Mr. Stephan gave us exactly what we wanted. He concluded that when the Federal Government ignores an area of law (such as child abuse), then the state district court may “hear and adjudicate proceedings pursuant to the juvenile code, with respect to neglected, wayward or abused children, concerning incidents occurring on the Fort Riley Military Reservation.”
This little victory doesn’t solve the problem. However, it does give us one more tool to use in combating child abuse.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
Obooma and Gas Prices
Obooma says on gas prices, nothing can be done,
It’s trouble in the Middle East, it’s the position of the sun.
Maybe global warning, but that would be strange,
That’s a tough thing to accept, so we’ll call it climate change.
Gas prices just keep climbing, the situation seems quite grim,
But the environmentalists and Obooma, treat it like a hymn.
Obooma says on gas prices, nothing can be done,
What was the Keystone pipeline, just politics to be spun?
Obooma blames the Republicans for not giving him time,
Like waiting till after November, so he can hide his crime.
What about the Arctic Refuge, with a zilllion barrels of oil?
Can’t our American know-how keep the Refuge free from spoil?
Obooma says on gas prices, he’s working really hard,
When votes are at risk, he becomes quite the bard.
With sky-rocketing prices and fewer cars on the road,
It reduces our carbon footprint and helps the endangered toad.
(This will help the toad get across the road).
Obooma said three years into his term, things would be OK,
Well it’s time for him to pack it up and move without delay.
He’s truly Nero fiddling, while our country goes to hell,
But his voice is quite appealing and he bows exceedingly well.
Parties at the White House give him chances to get down,
But for the good of our nation, we need to get rid of this clown.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
Fun Ball – MIZZOU B-Ball
What a fun season. Fun, fun, fun. Watching the Missouri Tigers play basketball is really fun. The word “fun” when used with competitive sports usually sets me off. When I hear a coach say, “I just want my boys to go out and have fun.” I say, “Oh yeh?” Fun is a code word for winning.
Think this through. Is it fun to lose? Is it fun to win? Be honest now. Well, there was the one coed volleyball game we lost in junior high. Nah, it sucked. If it is truly a competitive sport, how can anyone have fun while they are losing? I’ll just mention in passing that during the three years I was in high school, we never lost a football game. Old East Side High. Fun.
So if MIZZOU is fun to watch, they must be winning. But it is so much more. It is all the things they do in the process of winning. First, in the era where seven footers are bumping into each other on the court, MIZZOU’s starting line up is short. They play a four guard offense. The four guards range from 6′ 6″ to 5′ 10″. Ricardo Ratliffe is the only decent size player on the floor. He is 6′ 8″ and is leading the entire nation in field goal percentage. Sure, a lot of his baskets are from around the bucket, but all these seven footers are also scoring under the bucket. As soon as his hands touch the ball, it is in the basket. No bouncing the ball, no faking one way and then the other, just fast as a magic trick. Ratliffe was a two-year JUCO first team All American before he moved to Columbia.
Next, in an era when college basketball teams are permitted to have 13 players on scholorship, MIZZOU has seven. Laurence Bowers would have been number eight, but he tore his ACL before the season started. Well, I guess he is still #8, he just can’t play. So in the course of the battle only two subs come off of the bench. Coach Frank Haith, in his first year at MIZZOU, has done a great job of shuffling players so as to keep them fresh.
So they are small and there aren’t many of them, and right now, they are 23 and 2 and ranked 3rd in the nation! Talk about fun! On the one hand, they would have made great boy scouts because they are constantly helping others. Exceedingly unselfish. Then, on the other hand, they are a group of artful dodgers pilfering the ball with great skill AND turning in fast break points.
Michael Dixon started last year and has been relegated to “sixth man” this year. He could have bitched and moaned, but he has just accepted the roll and has played a key part in some of MIZZOU’s victories. He has Bobby Knight’s vote for the NCAA’s sixth man. I didn’t know there was such a thing. I wonder if there is a 7th man or an 8th man. Did I mention the Dixon and Marcus Denman shoot over 90% from the free throw line? Couple all that with the fact that we have five players who can hit a clutch 3-pointer (they average 8 per game and make close to 4 out of every 10) and you are beginning to see how much fun it can be to watch them.
Flip Pressey, our point guard, is leading the Big 12 in steals and second in assists. They are just an unselfish bunch. Kim English opted for the NBA draft two years ago and wasn’t picked up. Last year, he was nothing special, but this year the senior has won games with every aspect of his skills.
What lies ahead? Well, teams lose and I expect MIZZOU will get upset somewhere down the line. That won’t be fun. They have to play Kansas in Kansas in a couple of weeks. Then there’s the Big 12 Championship and the NCAA finals. Regardless of what happens, it’s been fun. MIZ-
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
The Cursed Costa Concordia Captain
There is something almost mystical about sea captains. In the early days, they took their ships to places never seen before. What courage it took to take a ship over the horizon and into the unknown. Well, sea captains may no longer be as mystical. Perhaps it’s because the unknown has shrunken so. They are still quite special and usually held in high esteem.
Then there’s the Costa Concordia captain, Francesco Schettino. The only thing mystical about Captain Schettino is how he mystically ended up in a life boat while his 4200 passengers were still fighting for their lives on board the ship (some, of course, lost their lives). Should we give him the benefit of the doubt? I think not. He says he was helping others into the life boat when the ship lurched and he fell in. I guess he could have climbed back out. But, as luck would have it, it was the same life boat that his Moldavian girlfriend had climbed into. But most telling was when the port authority ordered him to return to his ship, Schettino mentioned that it was dark and cold out (and he didn’t have his blankie).
Italy can’t win for losing. They have an image problem. Listed under The World’s Shortest Books and right before “The Amish Telephone Book” is “Famous Italian War Heros”. Then along comes the activities of the cowardly Captain Schettino.
I guess by now most people know that the captain directed the ship off course so he could do a nautical “fly by” for a friend who lived close by. He planned to blast the horn in a form of a salute. The ship never got to the horn part. But his friend, a retired Costa admiral, will be able to look out toward the island of Giglio, perhaps for the next year, and see a reminder of the abortive salute. “All this for me?”
Follow this, the ship hit the reef at 9:45 PM on January 13 (Friday the 13th). Twenty minutes later (10:05 PM), the captain was contacted by the company and he told them he had a problem. At 10:25 PM, forty minutes after the gash was cut into the ship, the crew was instructing people that there was an electrical problem and they should go to their cabins. It wasn’t until 11:00 PM that the captain directed the abandoning of the ship. And he really meant it, because that is exactly what he did.
One of my friends who knew that we liked to cruise inquired whether the Costa debacle would cause us to change our plans. Absolutely not. I can’t think of a safer time to cruise. The recent experience will cause every ship captain to be a better Boy Scout, paying close attention to that which is important. They will save their stow away Moldavian women for deeper, calmer waters.
I have been told that Winston Churchill once was overheard saying how he preferred to cruise on Italian ships. He allegedly said, “First the cuisine is unsurpassed. Second, the service is superb. And then, in time of emergency, there’s none of this nonsense about women and children first.” The quote was probably not Churchill’s. But on the Costa Concordia, it wouldn’t be the women and children that would cause him delay, it would be the captain and his officers.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricwquips.com
The Judge Says – Judge is a Short-timer
The United States Army is rich in tradition. Among others, the change of command is particularly impressive. All the troops standing on line and then marching in review. By the time you place an entire brigade on line your eyes will be really, really big.
Well, change of command requires a commander and we in the JAG Corps have very few. The last time I checked, The Judge Advocate General, the Commandant of the School and the Chief of the Claims Office were our only commanders. So staff judge advocates, in charge of offices on post had no change of command. This led me to write the following article back in 1982 as I was getting ready to deploy for my next assignment.
Judge is a Short-timer (April 9, 1982)
Guess what? I’m a two-digit midget. Yep, after three great years here at Fort Riley, I’m going to check out in the middle of July.
A couple of people have asked me if the Staff Judge Advocate has a change of command. I’m not a commander, so that means no parade, no band and no little munchies afterwards.
Now when the Adjutant General moved on, he had a change of stewardship (whatever that means). But, of course, he had the 1st AG company to stand tall. Maybe my last official act here will be to submit a suggestion to the Suggestion Awards Program recommending the creation of the 1st JAG Company.
Just because we don’t command or know what stewardship means doesn’t mean we won’t have a ceremony. At my last assignment (in the Puzzle Palace), each chief in our office used a different colored ink. The division chief used green, the deputy used red and the branch chiefs used blue. The actions officers wrote their draft opinions in black. This was necessary when four attorneys were all correcting the same draft legal opinion. You only had to know which ink outranked which.
A poorly drafted opinion would come back to the drafter looking like a Christmas tree. Anyway, when I moved up from branch chief to deputy, the deputy bundled up all of his red government pens in a rubber band and presented them to me. I was moved.
The ceremony we have planned here at Fort Riley will be held in our crowded little law library. The entire office will attend, each bringing their own jelly donut in a small brown paper bag. We have selected 200 Supreme Court cases. The ceremony begins when I stand up and begin to read the first case. I will continue reading case after case until I become exhausted and collapse. At the time the new SJA takes over and it is done. Then everyone can eat their jelly donut
I forgot to mention that I am entitled to receive assistance from members of my office. While I am reading, should I begin to doze off, they can all rattle their paper bags to revive me. Whether they actually will assist me may depend upon how hungry they are.
This column should satisfy even the hard to convince that I have never let the absence of quality nor the lack of a topic stand in the way of meeting a deadline.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com
Why I Will Never Buy an Audi
No, it’s not the commercials. I like watching commercials, but I don’t think I would stop drinking Coke because their commercial offended me. The old Snickers’ commercial where a “Snickers deprived person” destroyed other people’s property offended me, but I never stopped eating Snickers. Now, Snickers has a commercial where Roseanne Barr gets clobbered by a great big swinging log. I kind of like that one.
I don’t care for the Audi commercials, but that’s not my reason for not buying the car. I do, however, believe the commercials reflect the arrogance of the company. The commercial I’m thinking of depicts the owners of Mercedes, Lexus and BMW as mindless sheep following the pack. While the owners of Audis are superior people who are able to think and decide for themselves. I thought the arrogance of the commercial reflected the arrogance of the company.
Back in the mid-80s, the Audi 5000 received a lot of bad publicity when the owners claimed the cars were subject to suddenly accelerating for no good reason. I’m satisfied that the sudden acceleration wasn’t Audi’s fault. It was later determined by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration that the cause of the problem was “pedal misapplication” (the drivers were stepping on the gas pedal and not the brake pedal – and guess what, the harder they pushed, the faster they went). Even though Audi did not feel responsible, they did move the gas pedal and the brake pedal a little farther apart. They were also one of the first companies to put in a brake interlock system, so that the driver could not shift out of park until he had his foot on the brake.
The problem with the sudden acceleration fiasco was that Audi wasn’t quick enough to respond. It doesn’t matter if you have an engineering masterpiece if no one is buying the car. Duh! Their arrogance kept them from being proactive.
I want to digress for a moment. Don’t worry, I will tell you why I will never buy an Audi. But I want to mention something that keeps auto manufacturers from quickly improving safety features. It is product liability law suits. If the manufacturer is being sued over, let’s say a stablility/rollover issue, then, if they widen their wheel base, the plaintiff’s attorney will point to that change as proof that the earlier model was unsafe. Product liability law suits are like a game where fair play is off the table.
It was late in the year 2000 and I had just been hired by Bridgestone/Firestone to assist them in their major tire problem. The Firestone ATX and Wilderness tires were involved in accidents where the tread had separated from the tire. Since I was representing the company, they asked me to assist them in a small problem they were having with tires on the Audi TT.
The Audi TT was, and probably still is, a neat little sports car. Bridgestone provided the high performance tires for the TT (225/45R-17/91Y). They were quite wide, but the distance from the tread to the rim was only about three inches. This only became a problem when the driver sped through a deep pot hole. This could cause the sidewall to pinch the rim and cause a bubble or blister on the tire. In Europe, where the tires had been around for years, the driver would recognize that he had abused the tire and go out and purchase a new one. In the United States, the driver would return to the dealer and claim the tire was defective.
I think both Audi and Bridgestone knew there was nothing wrong with the tires, but Audi wanted to have a meeting to discuss the problem and, quite frankly, Bridgestone wanted to help their customer. The meeting was set up in Washington at 11:30 AM at the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center. I attended the meeting along with the account sales executive and a senior Bridgestone engineer.
When we arrived in Audi’s reception area, we could see that another meeting was going on in the glass enclosed conference room. We got comfortable and waited. Around noon, the meeting was still proceeding and catering carts arrived from some eating establishment probably buried somewhere in the enormous building. I thought, hey, I may get a free lunch out of this. Free lunches are good. The meeting broke up about 12:30 PM. The Audi officials came out and greeted us and then disappeared for a few minutes. Lunch was wheeled into the conference room. Things were really looking up. Then, the Audi officials came back, proceeded into the conference room, closed the door and ate their lunch for the next 45 minutes. We got to watch. I would have settled for a slice of cheese. Hey, are you going to eat that pickle?
We started our meeting about 1:30 PM. The meeting went as expected. Everyone agreed there was nothing wrong with the tires and Bridgestone agreed to assist Audi in replacing damaged tires at no cost to the costumers. Of course, nothing was said about the shabby way we were treated. Because of their superior attitude, it probably never occurred to them that the peasants had to eat too.
It is hard to be politically correct when dealing with such jerks. I will just say that in the United States Army we make sure the troops are fed. And we have been pretty successful. Is that subtle enough? As I have grown older, I have mellowed. I now will agree to ride in the back seat of an Audi, as long as I am being chauffeured by an Audi executive.
Written by PJ Rice at www.ricequips.com