The Retired Army Judge Advocates met this month in Indianapolis.  Would you believe we had 108 people at the meeting?  Not bad for such a select group.  Each member was an Army lawyer who served at least 20 years and then retired.  So, did we have 108 retired Army Jags?  Of course not.  The wives, widows and close friends make up a large portion of the group.  That is probably why it is successful.

Steve and Pauline Lancaster hosted the group and it couldn’t have gone more smoothly.  Next year, we return to Charlottesville, Virginia, the home of the Army lawyer, and the following year, it’s Big D.  The main portion of our business meeting (which never lasts over 10 minutes) is to announce future RAJA sites.  You talk about an organization with clearly defined goals.

Usually The Judge Advocate General and the Commandant of the JAG School (it now has a new name, but who cares) come to our meeting and update us on the Corps and the School.  This year, both of them had daughters graduating from high school that weekend and could not attend.  So, Major General Butch Tate, The Deputy Judge Advocate General and former Commandant came and gave both presentations.  He was outstanding.  He is also one of the funniest guys I’ve heard speak in quite a while. 

Of course, Zane Finkelstein continued to interrupt Butch with questions and comments, some more relevant that others.  Butch shot him down time after time.  But Zane obliviously continued.  I like to hear my voice too.  But I try to be my own counsel at times like that.  On my note pad, I wrote over and over, “KYMS.”  That stands for “keep your mouth shut.”  Even then I have trouble being quiet.

In Butch’s slide presentation, he showed a picture of his wife with their new dog.  He explained that the dog was the reason Lynn had not joined him at RAJA.  It seems they adopted a 12 year old rescue dog and Lynn did not want to put the elderly pet in the kennel.  As Butch was closing his two hour presentation, Joe Ross raised his hand.  Butch, in his humorous way said, “Joe, I’m right in the middle of my closing which I expect will become emotional.  Is your question really necessary?”  Joe responded, “I was just wondering if Lynn could come next year and you could stay with the dog.”

Butch mentioned that the Army JAG Corps had 1700 applications this year for 200 selections.  Good numbers even when discounted for the bad economy.  As soon as he mentioned accessions, I flashed back to the accessions board I sat on with General “Big Daddy” Williams.  It was back in about 1977 and we were reviewing  the applications of law students who wanted to become Army Jags.  I remember one file I reviewed that included an invitation to attend an event at the local yacht club.  I thought the invitation had been inadvertently placed in the file.  But on the next page was a picture of our applicant and his girl friend standing in front of the yacht club!  Big smiles.  We concluded that he must have gotten his applications mixed up and we received the one meant for Navy Jag.

One of the files I looked at was just tops.  He was an Army ROTC scholarship student who had been deferred through law school.  His law school grades at Berkeley were excellent.  The only problem with the file was he had his picture taken in a tye-dye tee shirt.  Big Daddy, who had already reviewed the file, on a scale of 5 to 1, had given him a zero.  I looked at the file again and the only thing wrong was the tee shirt.  I finally said to Big Daddy, ‘You know Sir, since he goes to Berkeley, he may be a conformist and just dressed in the uniform of the day.”  General Williams looked at me and paused.  Then he said, “Jack, this young man is trying to tell you something and you are not listening.”  So he joined our yacht club invitee in the trash pile.

Oh, prior to going to RAJA, I called my credit card provider to let them know where I would be, so they wouldn’t pull the plug on me.  And, my credit card worked the entire trip.  Isn’t life grand?

We had a great time at RAJA, but by writing about it, I have raised a troubling question.  Does anyone really believe that being invited to a yacht club function makes them a better applicant for the JAG Corps?

Life is good.  Over the Memorial Day holiday a large number of retired Army JAGs descended on New Orleans for our annual RAJA meeting.  We assembled at the Hotel Monteleone right smack in the French Quarter.

Expensive?  Not really and remember, we all have Army retirement checks and most of us are on Social Security.  Plus, we got our Social Security stimulus checks.  So, we stimulated the New Orleans’ economy.

Dennis and Jeanne Hunt hosted RAJA (Retired Army Judge Advocate Association – maybe it should be RAJAA – not the kind of issue you want to raise in an organization consisting only of lawyers).  I was planning on saying that Dennis and Jeanne’s planning and execution were as efficient as Mussolini’s on-time trains.  But, then I looked it up on Snopes.com and the Mussolini bit is a myth.  Man, I think I was happier before Snopes.  Anyway, Dennis and Jeanne did a fantastic job!

On the first full day, we toured New Orleans.  Of course, if you are going to tour the Big Easy, you have to visit one of their cemeteries.  As you probably know, because of the water level, all of the caskets are placed in above-ground tombs.  Our tour guide explained the process of removing old remains to make room for the new deceased member of the family.  I think you have to live your whole life in New Orleans to go along with that process.  After hearing of the process, all I could think of was the Church Lady on Saturday Night Live saying, “Isn’t that special.”

Our tour guide told us that we were at the cemetery (St. Louis Cemetery # 1) that was damaged and desecrated during the filming of the movie, Easy Rider.  I don’t remember the cemetery scene.  I only remember that the movie had a happy ending.  There were no complaints from residents of the cemeteries about Katrina.  But, some of those same residents are still receiving relief checks.

The bus trip took all day and we never left the city.  But, I had no idea where I was.  The tour guide would say, “The river is on our left.”  “Now, the river is on our right.”  “The lake is behind you.”  “This area was all under water.”  Duh, big help.

It has been almost four years since Katrina and the parts of the city we looked at showed great signs of recovery.  But, who knows what we didn’t see.  The amount of human suffering that went on during the storm and its aftermath is impossible to quantify.  Let’s hope that the lesson we took away from Katrina will insure it doesn’t happen again (Not the natural disaster, but the way we handled it).

RAJA was a great success.  Tim Naccarato is the third leader of this august body.  John Jay Douglass was the president for the first twenty plus years.  He and Bruce Babbitt ran the financials for the organization on the back of an envelope.  Now that takes skill.  Anyway, in 1994, while in Reno, Nevada the organization rolled the dice and selected a board of directors to carry the group forward.  Jim Mundt was selected to take John Jay’s place and RAJA moved forward. 

Then, in 2005, Tim took the reins.  One of the first things he did was do away with the cumbersome site selection committee.  Tim now twists arms until someone agrees to host a future meeting.  This is much more effective that the site selection committee.  Because everyone knows what he is up to, a lot of his emails are never answered.  But, he has lined up Steve and Pauline Lancaster to host next year in Indianapolis, and Dave and Lynn Graham and Fred and Janet Borch to host 2011 in Charlottesville, the Home of the Army Lawyer.  In a weak moment Tim convinced Mike Marchand to host 2012 in Dallas.  Please keep the latter confidential, because Mike hasn’t told his wife, Jan, yet.

Well,  RAJA survived New Orleans, and New Orleans survived RAJA.  No surprises there.  Sadly, the only lesson I took away from the meeting is that I don’t want to be buried in New Orleans.  Because it is a given that sometime in the future, someone is going to break into your casket, gather your bones and pitch them to make room for a new visitor.  Yuk.

Last week, we were down in Atlanta for our RAJA meeting.  As I have mentioned before, RAJA is the Retired Army Judge Advocate’s Association.  We get together each year and tell each other how we saved the free world.  The stories continue to get more outrageous.

Also, Major General Scott Black, The Judge Advocate General, came down and gave us a sobering view of the challenges facing the Army and the JAG Corps.  After listening to Scott, it became apparent that he won’t be able to explain how he saved the free world until he has been retired and a member of RAJA for at least ten years.

One of the hosting couples was Rob and Bridgette Minor.  He worked for me at Fort Riley when he was a captain.  It would be a better story had he been a major.  Then, he would have been Major Minor (as distinguished from Major Major in Catch 22).  Anyway, we hadn’t seen the Minors in over twenty years.  That’s what RAJA is all about.  We expect to see them next year in New Orleans.

On my free afternoon, I decided to visit the World of Coke.  I was advised that there were other things that were more culturally rewarding.  I never wavered.  I am a confirmed Coke drinker (but I would never drink one before Noon – that would be sick).  I thrive on sugary syrup and carbonated water.

When Coach Frank Broyles came to the University of Missouri to coach football (he had previously been the backfield coach at Georgia Tech), he gathered the team together on the first day.  He said, “Boys, I am a firm believer in Coke Cola and after every practice there will be an ice cold Coke Cola waiting for you.”  Talk about a pep talk.  He had me!

When Coke announced back in 85′ that they were changing the formula, I went into a 79 day funk.  Then, when Coke announced they were keeping the old Coke and calling it Coke Classic, I felt reborn.  This little historic vignette is tastefully presented at the World of Coke (that was culturally rewarding).

There was a long line to get in.  I felt I was back at Disney World.  When I got up to the front of the line, I saw the metal detectors.  What has this world come to?  Are they afraid terrorists will try to hijack the World of Coke?  I thought Coke’s definition of a terrorist was some one who worked for Pepsi.  They gave me a claims number for the small pocket knife I had in my pocket.

To sum the event up, I decided not to have my picture taken with the Coke polar bear; I enjoyed the 3-D movie; and, I made myself sick sampling all the different Coke drinks from around the world.  Inca Cola should only be drunk in Peru if you are about to die of thirst.  Beverly is something everyone should sample so they can appreciate whatever else they are drinking.  My biggest fear was that I would be stuck to the sticky floor in the tasting room and never get out.

I did get out with my free eight-ounce Coke in the glass bottle.  I brought it home, chilled it, and drank it the other night.  It brought back fond memories of the nickel Cokes we had in college.

Now that I have visited the World of Coke, I don’t feel the need to go back.  I will have my own little tribute to Coke each night when I pop the top.  RAJA, however, requires a trip every year to ensure that the free world is still safe.

The reason you haven’t heard from me is I took nine days off and went to Phoenix.  That is where we had our RAJA (pronounced Rahjah) meeting.  It stands for Retired Army Judge Advocates.  Just a bunch of old JAGs getting together to tell wild stories.  The same stories get better each year!

In about 1976, all the senior JAGs who served in the Korean War were invited by their South Korean counterparts back to Korea to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the war.  They had such a great time that they decided to form a group and do it every year.  I think we are celebrating our 32nd reunion in Phoenix (It’s really Scottsdale, if you want to be precise).

We probably have about 250 members and some are more spry than others.  Thus, the grand plan is to hold the reunion on the East Coast, then the Midwest, then the West Coast and back to the East again.  By so doing, those members who don’t travel so well will have something close every three years.  Phoenix was West.  Next year it will be Atlanta (East), then New Orleans (Midwest), then Indianapolis (West?).  Let’s be frank, it is more important to find a willing JAG who will host, than to be in the right part of the country.  Bless those who volunteer to host.  We used to present the hosts with a Jefferson Cup, but a year or so back, it was decided that we are at the age where we don’t need additional “clutter.”  So, now the hosts are rewarded with applause and with us leaving their town.

This year RAJA took a day trip to Sedona – painted rocks and Indian spirits.  Everyone should visit Sedona.  I had been there twice before and the trip conflicted with the golf outing.  So, I passed.  It is a nice place to visit, but I couldn’t afford to live there.  At least, not in the manner to which I have become accustomed.  Then there’s that stuff about mystical vortexes.  Sounds spooky and dangerous.  Give me a good old fashion DC mugging.  “Here’s my wallet, please don’t hurt me.”

My mom and sister live in Phoenix, so we spent some time with them.  Mom will be 92 in July and she is beginning to slow down a little.  I told her I was on to her games and to knock it off.  She’s a sweetheart, but you just have to be firm with her.

Talk about three birds with one stone, my daughter lives in Prescott Valley.  So, we also spent some time with Becky and the two grandsons, Grant and Brandon.  The boys are 20 and 18, bright and fun to be around.  But, Brandon, the youngest, is part of a musical group called Hung Jury.  I googled Hung Jury and there must be ten groups with that name.  I guess there are only so many names out there.  I listened to them on My Space and they will be better off it the jury doesn’t come in with a verdict!  I suspect kids their age like what they are playing.  But, it was rough on my sensitive ears.  I would have graded their song right below white noise.  I hope he proves me wrong.

Anyway, I’m back.