I like to observe people. Downtown Washington, D.C. is an ideal location. It’s best to wear sun glasses. In a small town, everybody says hello, but in a big city, making eye contact is a no-no. If someone does smile or nod at me, I know they are visiting.
One of the things I noticed is that women always seem to be talking on a cell phone. During lunch, after work, regardless of street location, there they are talking away.
Since I would rather look at women than men, I thought maybe my observations were skewed. So, I decided to turn my observations into a random unscientific survey. Those are really the best kind of surveys. Scientific surveys, which gather large volumes of data end up telling us what we already know (like people with criminal records are more likely to get in trouble in the military than people with no criminal record), or concluding with a result that was bought and paid for (such as cigarettes don’t cause cancer).
If you are doing a random unscientific survey, you don’t have to worry about things like a regression analysis or a chi-square test. They would be difficult to do since I have no idea what they are.
As part of my survey, I just started counting and recording. In order to be counted, the person had to have the phone to his or her ear. Hey, I make the rules. My first attempt resulted in 13 women and five men. I think that is statistically significant. Then, four women and one man (some of my unscientific survey sessions only lasted a few minutes). After just two weeks, I shut the survey down. I had satisfied myself that on the streets of DC, there are more women talking on cell phones than men.
But, what does it mean? Does it mean that women have more friends? Are they better multi-taskers? They can walk and talk at the same time. Or, are they more chatty? Let’s face it, there is a Chatty Kathy doll, but there is no Chatty Charlie doll.
I concluded there are too many possible reasons why this is occurring. This is going to require a full blown investigation. As I am just about retired from the Fox, and seeking other opportunities, I think I will conduct the investigation. I just need to find someone stupid enough to pay for it. I know, I’ll get a government grant!