Any golfer will tell you that there doesn’t have to be a reason to have a bad round of golf. Just show up. There is, however, one scenario that is guaranteed to end in a bad round. If the last time you played, you had a great round and you just can’t wait to get out to improve on it, you will be humbled. Golf is a humbling game and when your excitement and expectations are at their highest, it will smash you like a bug.
Last Tuesday, I had a miserable round. It didn’t come as a surprise. As a matter of fact, I became stoic in the parking lot. That was where I realized that my putter and six iron were not in my golf bag. They were leaning against the portable bar in the room we added on so I could practice putting and swinging (the room has a cathedral ceiling – surprise!).
If I went home to get the clubs I would miss my tee time. So I went into the Fort Belvoir Club House and asked if I could borrow a Putter (I could get by without my six iron). We went into the lost-club closet. It was fairly dark and I still had my sunglasses on. I picked out a short flat-faced putter. I suspected it was a lady’s club, but I didn’t care. What I didn’t realize until I got out in the sun light was that the club was painted pink. Even the face of the putter was painted pink. I had no success and at the end of nine holes, I switched putters. That will be the only nine holes I ever play with a putter with a painted face (distance was OK – direction was bad).
I went back to the closet and found a putter that I thought said “Acushnet.” Acushnet made the famous Bulls Eye putter that was so popular a number of years back. They still make excellent putters. The putter I selected was a mallet head. I like mallet heads. After I missed a five foot putt on the 10th hole, I took a closer look at the putter. It didn’t say Acushnet, it said, “Accusline.” It was a clumsy knock-off. The only thing done well on the putter was the printing style to make “Accusline” look like “Acushnet.” The shaft was heavy, the mallet had no weight (distance was bad – direction was bad). The whole time I am playing, I am telling myself that I am getting just what I deserve (if the game is 90% mental, that is not the best thing to be telling yourself). Yes, you are right, the blame for the poor putting should be equally shared by the stick and the stick handler.
I need to come up with a check list before I leave the house. In fact, as I was leaving, Carole, my wife, is asking, “Do you have your shoes?” I forgot my golf shoes when we went to Florida for a golf vacation. I also have forgotten them when I have practiced at Fort Belvoir. I would just go ahead and practice in the shoes I had on – usually Nike running shoes. Then, she said, “Do you have your wallet?” I have previously forgotten my wallet and that is a show stopper. You can’t get on to Fort Belvoir without an ID. But, does she ask if I have my putter? NO!
I have a little ritual I go through when I am having a bad round. I periodically count my clubs to make sure I go home with the same number I came with. While the number was less that usual, I did go home with all the clubs I brought.
I play in a retired members golf association at Fort Belvoir. We play most of the country clubs in Northern Virginia. So, it’s good to have a high handicap. But there was no way I was going to post this score. I decided it would be wrong on so many levels.
The good news is that this experience will guarantee that I won’t forget my putter for at least six months.